Coffee is an aphrodisiac

“Coffee is an aphrodisiac!”

said a local man named, Doug;

he had a dog,

whose name was ‘Dog’,

and he had a frog,

whose name was frog –

a man of little or no imagination was our Doug;

but, the words he gave out

inspired me to write,

to create a poem of such stature,


well, actually it was a haiku?

and here it is:


it’s a five syllable word

that’s too seldom heard.

I know…

I know

I know nothing;

which means…

I know something

and not nothing,

as I had, until recently, thought.

There was no…

There was no K.I.C.K,

in my Ginger Beer,

and I have to say

that the taste was queer.

*May Contain

This poem may contain

traces of irony,

a little Shelley,

no Keats, whatsoever,

and what beats a huge dollop of Byrony?

Or it may not.

It may be considered complete and utter rot –

by those in the know,

and connoisseurs of real poetry

might turn in their graves –

even if they are still alive and kicking,

leaving little or no room for sensible critiquing –

whatever that is.

Always look beyond the cake

Always look beyond the cake,

there is more to life than cake;

there is sea and sun

and cake;

love and laughter

and cake;

family and friends

and cake.

Okay, there is cake

and other things, too.


There’s a hole in my sock –

yes, there is.

I don’t know how it got there –

but, there it is.

I’ll hide it with a shoe

if it’s all the same to you –

there’s a whole,

lot of explaining,

unless I do.








Why did the dragonfly flee?

The dragonfly, whose name was Flo,

had an itch, she scratched it so,

it was a flea, ‘It’ll have to go!’

But a tiny flea is hard to find,

it’s always, always upon your mind;

and with great big claws,

and fiery breath,

Flo burnt and scratched herself to death.


‘But, that’s so sad!’ I hear you cry,

‘Why did poor Flo have to die?’

Truth be told, she never existed,

my creative writing a creature enlisted –

tales are told of made up things,

fleas with kites, dragonflies with swings

and in other far off made-up stories,

upon different days,

Flo and the flea,

just parted ways.


And a point you make

upon my tale:

‘It was a dragonfly,

and not a dragon,

have you been sipping from the flagon,

swigging too much ale?’

‘You caught me out!’

I drunkenly reply,

‘But, when was the last time you saw a dragon fly,

perhaps fleas are the reason why.’

Carpe Compendium!

“Seize the games!”

Is what I’d shout

if ancient Romans

were in any doubt

as to my madness.


I’m sorry to say

that I missed the day

when the Romans ruled the world

(well, an awful lot of it);

but, if I had been there

I might not be here now

telling you how

I’d have made myself look

an absolute fool

by shouting loudly

‘A shatterproof rule!’

See Saw – a tongue-twister?

I saw the sea-saw,

and the see-saw saw me;

I went to sea,

and I saw that the see-saw went to see, too;

At sea, I saw the sea,

and I saw that the see-saw see the sea, too;

I met Saucy Sue at sea,

and I saw the see-saw meet Saucy Sue at sea – didn’t you?