Category Archives: toe-in-the-water

Haiku: ‘Twelve’ by Graeme Sandford

Christmas: Day One dawns...
A bird of some kind... with 'tree!'
What is going on?

Day Two... What's in store?
More birds (but, no more 'pear' trees)
NB: Get Bird Seed.

Day Three: More wildfowl!
Now getting beyond a joke;
What next, I wonder.

Day Four: Learning French;
Having to build aviary;
Need some counseling!

Day Five: Delivery;
By two security men
In armoured vehicle!

Day Six: Pawned the rings;
Bought a good set of ear muffs;
Honking, Squawking birds!

Day Seven: Enough!
What can I do with these swans?
I can't eat the things?

Day Eight: What! For real?
It's like that old Christmas song
I'm not taking this!

Day Nine: All sorted.
Restraining Order granted;
Refused the Dancers!

Day Ten: Went to beach.
Left a note on my front door:
'Not today, thank you!'

Day Eleven: Birds gone.
They flew, waddled, swam, were sold;
And, 'peace' now returns.

Day Twelve: Knock at door!
"You ungrateful little sh..."
"Sorry, just moved in."

Wal-ku 7 (on walkies – Stones & Words) by Vega




Is that where ‘dead’ people go?

And they become bones?”



Haiku: ‘Eleven’ by Graeme Sandford

eleven buns

"Eleven? One short!
"Have you eaten one of these?"
"Not one," I replied.

"You've eaten two, then;
A 'baker's dozen, was it?"
"I cannot lie... yes!"

"I am now one short!"
"One short dude, indeed!" I thought,
"I'll get another."

"Too late; they're here 'now!' "
"Who are? 'They?' Whom do you mean?"
"The twelve bun-eaters!"

"Never heard of them!
Until recently, that is."
"Ha! 'Very funny!

"Not!" He then added.
"One might have an allergy!"
"A story-teller?"

"No!" you imbecile!
"A bad reaction to buns!"
"They're all 'bun-eaters!' "

"Or one's missed the bus!"
They are staying in the town;
A 'two minute' walk!"

"Cut one bun in half!"
"I think that 'they' will notice!
They're 'professional!'"

"Name gives it away.
"They're called 'The Baker's Dozen!'"
"There are 'how' many?"

"Thirteen, in total -
Though one of them's the mascot -
We'll say 'he' ate one!"

No Wal-ku 1 (on no walkies – Rain and Inside) by Vega



“It’s raining outside;

And I’m ‘not’ going walkies:

Dad is a big wuss!”




Haiku: ‘Nine (Nein!’) by Gooneme Sangfroid

"Nine, my capitain!"
"Are you sure; we're outnumbered!"
"Nein, mon capitain!

I can count to nine
And then I have to stop there."
"But, why, Bluebottle?"

"Due to my fingers!"
"Your 'fingers!' Surely you've ten!"
"I have, mon hero!"

"Then why not count 'ten?'
"Because one was up my nose!"

"That is true, mon oeuf,"
"But, what about shoes and socks?"
"But, 'what' about them?"

"You could remove them,"
"Yes, I could do that it is,"
"Then count much higher,"

"I could count to twelve!"
"Twelve? How many toes have you?"
"I have 'ten' toes, why?"

"You could reach twenty!"
"If I count my toes?"
"Yes, with toes, 'twenty!' "

"But, mon Capitain,
If I count all of them..."
"Yes?" "Then..." "Yes?" "Nine!...ish!"

Haiku: ‘Two’ by Graeme Sandford

Hamlet: the great dane:
Said ‘To be… or not to be?’
And ‘not’: ‘When is lunch?’

William Shakespeare
Wrote about that tragic tale
In ‘Hamlet’ the play.

Haiku: ‘One’ by Graeme Sandford (01.08.2014)


The Three Musketeers:
‘All for one, and one for all!’
by Alex Dumas.

Re: Reverse Reverse Haiku – I Will Try One Two (three four) – And See Just What I Can Do.

Days, forty, of rain, indeed –
Outside, just waiting;
Leave our high spirits dampened.

Indeed, rain of forty days
Waiting just outside;
Dampened spirits ‘hi!’ our leave.

Leave our high spirits dampened.
Outside, just waiting
Days, forty, of rain, indeed!

Dampened spirits ‘hi!’ our leave:
Waiting just outside,
In deed, rain of forty days.

NB thanks to Caroljforrester for the idea of Revesing a Haiku G:)

A Day in Hong Kong (Part the One)

A Day in Hong Kong (Part the One)

If I were in England now
– Which I’m not –
The day outside would appear grey
And drab and not that hot.
But this is Hong Kong!
And I know that it’s warm
And humid outside…
Oh, yes.

One misty, moisty morning, just as the sun was up there somewhere…

And travelling the streets of this smoggy city
Is fun – and we know that somewhere above is the sun

There is a hustle
And a bustle
As workmen lash bamboo scaffolding together with string
And shops begin to rise after their late-night early-morning trading

On the MTR, though, it is clean
And efficient
And clean
And, did I mention

Back on the street the word is ‘Excuse me,sir…’

And, no, I do not want to buy a suit…
Neither do I need a watch.
Or a suit… Or a watch…
No, thank you, I’m not a suit-wearing man
Ready this afternoon, you say…
How nice, but, please take my advice
As a refusal often offends
Don’t ask me if I’d like to buy a suit…
Or a watch… As I don’t
And I won’t…

So, on to the Ferry across the Mersey…. Oops, got that wrong.
Hong Kong Harbour it is and not the place of the aforementioned song.

Wrong Song!

Seu Lon Qew

So, long queue for the Peak Tram to reach the heights
To rise up above the smog and see the…
Smog from above!

But, we are trying up use every form of transport that is available to us.
Tram and train, ferry and bus, using our Oyster Card – here it’s an Octopus!
Walking is an option, feet to the ground
If an escalator to terra firma – that we are seeking –
Can ever be found.

Lunch; and as translating menus can take up such time,
We choose Vietnamese food – because, the element of supplies is no crime.




Iffy by Graeme Sandford

When you are tired
And near expired
When your brain is a fuddle
And your thoughts all a muddle
When left and right are barely known
And the means to speak you do not own
When your eyes are closing with a snap!
When your want is for bed and a little nap
When you have lots to do but you can’t think what
When you are making coffee with an extra extra extra shot
When you spill the water, the milk, the lot
When you wished that you’d gone early to bed
When the toast you burnt is more charcoal than bread…
You’ll be nearly awake, my son.