Category Archives: #ShakespeareLives

That is the…

When your head tells you to ease up,

Do you listen?

Or do you consider the idea

That not all that is gold does glisten?

And a myriad other things

That this flesh is heir to?
To be quiet and relaxed within?

Or to be furrowing one’s brow in feverish contemplation?

Shall I?


Shall I compare thee to a Brussel sprout?
Or maybe I can aliken thee to an oafish lout?
Or a clumsy clout?
A foolish pout?
Or, without a doubt,
I am sure that I could comparison thee
To a boxer’s bout, a waster’s nowt, a strident shout
‘and’ a tile-maker’s grout.
And here is the real question…
Should I?

“Fridge Magnets everywhere, lend me you ears!”


Actual Fridge Inage from our Fridge

“To be
Or not to be…
Fridge Magnets?”
That’s not a question
For, Fridge Magnets is what we are
Being a Fridge Magnet is our raisin d’etre
Our reason for existing;
Our resistance to being a Fridge Magnet is futile
We state our message
Our quotation from the past
To the last
And we are proud
Never loud
Or allowed to be something
That we are not.
For without our inspirational words
A trip to the fridge would be pointless;
Would it not.

Unless… our being is just a fad;
‘That’ would be extremely bad;
If we were ignored by all and sundry
Who visited the refrigerator
From Monday to Sunday.
Our words, unheard?
How absurd!
With our comical tones
Or our thoughtful phrases
We were bought for a reason
Not for the changing of phases

But, now…
From new to old
Hot to cold
Wanted to…
How could life be so hard.
Take Will over there with his wise words from the Bard:
‘Nothing will come of nothing’
Well, that is pure genius, you see
But, you don’t ‘see’ any longer
And you may soon discard
What was once a treasure
As it is now a measure without measure.
And all may as well end
If, as you like us not
We are to be ungot
And not to be
Upon the fridge of frigididity.

Will & Ben: Renaissance Men (take 2).


Theme Song:
“Quill and Pen,
Will and Ben;
Renaissance men.”

Ben: What is that perched upon thy head, Will?

Will: It is a hat, Ben.

Ben: A palpable hat?

Will: Verily so, my friend, verily so.

Ben: And this that thou hast purchased?

Will: This is a hut.

Ben: Not a shed?

Will: No, it is a hut.

Ben: A veritable one?

Will: I doubt that, Ben. As huts go; being a hut, and not being a shed, is alike to one’s being a bit of a disappointment to one’s parents.

Ben: So, just a hut.

Will: And justly, so shed no tears, young Ben.

Ben: Aye, Will.

“Is ‘This’ Your Bard?”


Is ‘this’ your Bard?
The Ace of Plays;
The Writer of Parts;
The King of Lear;
The Prince of Denmark?

Or is ‘this’ your Bard?
The Two of Verona;
The Three of Witches;
The Five of Henrys
The Seven of Man’s Ages?

Or is ‘this’ your Bard?
The Fool or Joker;
The Three of Daughters;
The melancholy Jaques of Ardens;
The Queen of Tudors

Or are these ‘all’ your Bards?
The whole darn pack of them?

Will and Ben: Renaissance Men


“Will and Ben
Will and Ben
Renaissance Men…”

Narr: One sunny day…

Will: Ben, I saw a bear-headed man just now

Ben: Did you tell him to put a hat on?

Will: Yes, I told him to put a hat on.

Ben: And what did he say?

Will: Nothing; he just growled at me and continued eating honey.

Ben: Groan.

Hamlet: The Prequel (#ShakespeareLives)

Hamlet: The Prequel.

Act 1, Scene 1

(Fourteen or so years earlier)
Gertrude: Hamlet! There is something rotten in the state of your bedroom.

Hamlet (whining): Mum!


¿Witches more?


Audience Member: Which witch is which?
Witch 2: Well you may ask.
AM: I ‘am’ asking!
W2 (to W1): Oh, well which one are you?
W1: Yes. That’s right.
W2: Sorry?
W1: I am which one.
W2: That was what I was asking. Which one are you?
W1: I. Am. Witch. One!
W2: O. Kay. (turning to Witch 3): And which one are you?
W3: No, she’s Witch One, I’m Witch Three.
W2: O. Kay. (to Witch One): ‘You’ are Witch One?
Witch One: Yes.
Witch Two (to Witch Three): ‘You’ are Witch Three?
Witch Three: Yes.
Witch Two: And ‘I’ am…
Witches One and Three: A right royal pain in the jacksie!
Witch Two: Ladies! Would you mind your language, there are chickens present.
Witches One and Three: Children!
Witch Two: What! Ever!
Witch Three (to audience member): Aren’t you glad you asked?

Witch One: And now! In Spanish!

Witches All: ¿Cuando vamos a conocer a tres de nuevo?

Witches One and three: iPaella!

Witch Two (sighing): Manaña.

The Witches One and Three cackle manically.