Category Archives: Radio Show

A Radio Sketch

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Ann 1: And now we have for your delectation : Glen Miller in the nude

Ann 2: in the ‘Mood!’ You donk!

Grams (a poor kazoo version of In The Mood starts up, initially it’s soft and subtle; but, then…)

SD 1 (just after it starts; before it goes bad) Ah, nice.

SD After a few moments Ann 2 states

Ann 2: That’s not Glenn Miller.

Ann 1: But, he is in the nude. Hey, mate; give it a rest, that’s fair doing my ears in… and it’s not doing much for my eyes, either. Get some togs on, will ya?

Ann 2: Did you book him?

Ann 1: If I was a cop I’d book him for something. I thought he was a sure winner; Glen Miller is very popular.

Ann 2: He died in 1945.

Ann 1: I thought he was younger. Just goes to show.

Ann 2: Show ‘what’ Exactly?

Ann 1: That you can’t judge a book by its cover.

Ann 2: Fair enough. Glenn?

Glen: It’s ‘Glen’ not ‘Glenn’.

Ann 2: Whatever. How old are you?

Glen: Forty-three, give or take.

Ann 2: Okay. I’ll ‘give’ you some advice; then you can ‘take’ it away with you. Sound fair?

Glen: Sounds fair to me.

Ann 2: Don’t give up the day job – and please don’t tell me that ‘this’ is it.

Glen: Certainly not, Madam. I am a qualified chartered accountant.

Ann 2: Figures.

Glen: Precisely.

Ann 2: Oh, well; good luck with that. And back to the show. Craig?

Ann 1: Thank you: and now ‘You can leave your hat on…’

Ann 2: Good grief.

Ann 1: By Tim Jones.

End.

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Script for a Tester’s Jeer

Toe-in-the-Water Radio Show SCRIPT – locked up

Me: He has just been released from prison.

You: What had he done?

Me: Done! What had he ‘not’ done?

You: I think that may be a long list.

Me: True. He was found guilty of being a bugler.

You: A bugler?

Me: Yes, he would break into ‘Reveille Or ‘Retreat’ at all hours of the morning and as he refused to stop it, they thought that the best thing to do was to lock him up and throw away the key of C.

You: The key of C?

Me: Yes, seems that was what the trumpet was tuned to.

You: Did it do any good?

Me: Well, his neighbours certainly thought so.

You: And now they’ve let him out?

Me: Yes, he was getting too big for his cell.

Yes: Does that joke work?

Me: Not in this universe, dear friend; but, it had to be said.

You: Why?

Me: It’s in the script.

You: It is. How did that get that through the censors?

Me:Have you heard of bribery? Using large sums of money for the means of… crime?

You: No.

Me: Good boy. We shall go far.

Two Men in the Sahara – Episode: Hide and Seek

Daphne

Daphne

Two Men in the Sahara – Episode: Hide and Seek

Present are F.Lawrence (Flo) and Smiffee (Smiffee) who has just arrived

Smiff: Where have the boys got to, Flo?

Flo: They are off playing ‘Hide and Seek’.

Smiff: Who’s hiding?

Flo: They both are.

SD They both sigh

Flo: Sigh

Smiff: Sigh

Smiff: Well, it’s progress – remember when Quiffy played it on his own that time?

Flo: Yes, he was hiding for days.

Smiff: And we only found him by chance when he fell out of the palm tree as we were going past.

Flo: And luckily he wasn’t hurt.

Smiff: He landed on something soft.

Both: His head!

Both: Hahahaha!

Flo: I think they may be some time as Biffy decided to count up to a hundred before looking; then Quiffy said that wasn’t enough time it should be a thousand…

Smiff: And I suppose they compromised on a hundred-thousand?

Flo: Yup!

Smiff: Donuts!

Flo: Don’t mind if I do. Chocolate coated with sprinkles.

Smiff: You bet.

Flo: Lovely. Save some for the boys?

Smiff: No; they went stale last time.

Flo: The Boys or the donuts?

Smiff: Both!

Both! Hahahaha!

Both: Cheers!