Category Archives: Poetry

The First National Apostrophe Shortage – its a thing!

Whodve thought it?

The First National Apostrophe Shortage – in history.

Its here!

It couldve been averted,

maybe shouldve been;

but wasnt.

“Whatll happen now?”

Weve not got long to wait,

Shallnt be more than a while,

“Cant we do anything?”

No. Shouldve acted sooner;

stocked up, panic bought,

provided for the unknown future.

“Wouldve it made a difference

if we hadve done so?”

Dramatically (and grammatically) speaking,

No. Weve mucked it up –

thats what weve done.


Thats the spirit.

Unicorn Shoes

I saw a Unicorn shoe, today,

along with another matching one,

a fine pair!

With Unicorn tails

and unicorn horns,

they were spotted in Looe,

Fore Street, to be precise,

Yes, I saw a pair of Unicorn Shoes, today –

they were magical,

and extremely nice.

‘As I looked through a window’

I looked out upon the world,

and the world looked back at me;

I saw a seagull flying by

heading for the sea;

I called out ‘Gull, where be you to?”

he looked a while at me

and answered “I be off to Looe,

it’s time now for my tea.”

And I was happy at that.

If – Linda G Hill’s #SoCS

(A prompt for a Saturday Stream-of-Consciousness write – which I restrict myself to doing in 10-minutes – this week the prompt was ‘if’).

See here for Linda G’s site.


If I manage

to write something

of worth here

I shall be mightily surprised.

And, before we get too far into this,

I am writing prose

in a poetry-looking format –

well, it has to be done.


if I ‘do’ manage

to create ‘War and Peace’

in the ten minutes

that I have allowed myself for this,

no one will be surprised.

Sorry, it should have read,

‘no one will be more surprised than me’,

but it didn’t – if you can follow that.

So, if a picture paints a large number of words

(In the vicinity of a thousand)

why can’t I paint?

If a rhetorical question

gains no answers,

why ask it in the first place?

If I knew all of the questions to some of the answers …

Ha! If!

No, seriously for a second –

why is it that E=MC squared?

Remember, you only have a second to answer that.

If you take too long

you lose a point.

If you answer with time to spare,

well, here is a chest

to pin a badge upon.

If this goes on too long

please let me know,

before I write copious amounts

of drivel

and waste everybody’s time.

Well, obviously, not ‘everybody’s’

that would be slightly over-stating

the dozen or so people

that irregularly read

(or claim to read)

what I do write.

If all (nearly) 8 billion people

read my words

(which they don’t)

and even one percent commented,

that would mean my taking

the rest of my life answering.

BTW ‘if’ is the centre part of ‘life’

that was one of those ‘Squirrel’ moments –

I get them from time to time.

Is it almost over?*

As if!

*the 10-minute alarm went off here – how appropriate. G:)


Yesterday, I saw a unicorn;

today, I saw an antelope –

well, obviously, there were two ants,

and I’m just assuming

that they were eloping;

but, you know me.

Saturday Morning’s Alright For Writing – revisited.

Saturday Morning,

like every other morning,

is a good time for writing;

and, seeing as how

it is Saturday Morning now,

(well, it was when I wrote this)

I shall write these words

(and maybe more)

upon high ground,

as it is quite dangerous

writing upon the shore,

due to the rain and the wind,

that is there,

and the possibility

of opening Death’s door

and walking through;

if the tide should rise above my head,

I would have to stop writing,

and start being dead.

‘Collective Nouns’

The collective noun

for a ‘group’ of collective nouns

is a ‘Congo-Lomeration’

which is just my creation

for the occasion;

so, if you have a better collective noun

for a ‘group’ of collective nouns

please use it in a poem

and all the world will be,

as unaware of you,

as they are as unaware of me.

The Unicorn

I saw a unicorn today;

but, what will the people say,

when I go up to them

and tell them

about the experience that I have had?

They will probably think I’m mad,

when I go up to them and say,

‘I saw a unicorn today!’

To I.C.

If you’d have died yesterday,

maybe I could have mourned you

in an appropriate way;

but, having died over fifteen years ago,

I cannot pretend to do just so.

And, anyway, although I knew your name,

I was not actually acquainted with the rhyme and reason for your fame.

So, a little bit late, with no excuses,

I mourn your passing –

which event (as per this poem)

still has its uses.

When Wednesday Comes

When Wednesday creeps up on you

and takes you unawares,

you suddenly realise that

you are half way through the ‘weak’ days,

and heading towards the ‘strong’ ones.


“How did that happen?”

you might ask.

Well, perhaps you should have been paying

more attention.