Category Archives: Poetry

Doncaster Cathedral

Doncaster Cathedral

Doncaster Cathedral,

it doesn’t exist.

So,

of places to visit,

don’t add it to your list.

Visit Dorchester Cathedral instead.

The Thin King

The Thin King

The man was a rake –

well, as thin as a rake –

he was also a king.

He stood looking at the cuboid cardboard package that had been delivered to the palace;

he stood there,

thin king,

outside of the box.

Sudoku Haiku

Sudoku Haiku

Top row: nine, three, six;

middle row: seven, four, five;

bottom row: one, eight… ?

NB

You need to place all

the numbers from one to nine

in the right places.

“I am the last leaf on the tree.”

“I am the last leaf on the tree”

The last leaf on the tree,

that’s me;

the others left home,

forgot about me;

never write, never call –

once the tree was family,

once the tree was all.

I am the

last

leaf on the tree.

Excuse me a minute…

Excuse me a minute…

Excuse me a minute,

I’m on my phone

(as you can probably see)

I know it’s rude

but, I shall atone;

I’m just writing down an idea

that just this very moment

came to me;

it’s amazingly good,

at least,

I

think so;

well, I’m me.

so I would.

And, I know, that

you

would hate

me

to lose what may prove to be

the best idea

that I’ve had to date…

Oh, no,

it’s gone,

I was just a little too late.

In Hannafore

In Hannafore

I’m in Hannafore.

“What for?” you ask.

To practice my semaphore,

whilst wearing my new pinafore,

that I’ve never worn before,

at least, not before dawn before.

Then I’m off to Looe.

“What there to do?” you ask.

To do what a man just has to do;

he has to see a sea-going gull, or two,

or maybe a couple of thousand –

there are countless, to be sure;

and I’m sure I counted seventeen,

and there were many, many more.

Later, I went back to Hannafore,

to practice my semaphore,

whilst still wearing my new pinafore,

as I had so recently done before.

Out from the pyramid

Out from the pyramid

Out from the pyramid

the mummy came;

with her curse, her crozier,

her unpronounceable name:

Queen Nefertarititiakhenatenamunra…

the Third,

who wished she’d been called Susan,

Nora,

or Thora…

Hird.