It is
What it is
There is always that.
More?
There is nothing more
Just take my word
It’s all inclusive.
An Episode in the #dialogueforaplay series
Dr. P: Hello! I’m Doctor Proctor, Vector Inspector.
Maud: Really?
Dr. P: Yes. Don’t you believe me?
Maud: Well, it is a bit far-fetched.
Dr. P: I am an imminent physician!
Maud: Don’t you mean ’eminent?’
Dr. P: I might do. In time. Who is asking?
Maud: Whom?
Dr. P: Okay; ‘whom’ is asking?
Maud: No. I am Lady Whom, Lady Maud Whom. The last in a long line of Whoms.
Dr. P: Ah! Just the parsonage that I was looking for!
Maud: If you are looking for the Parsonage, it’s by the church – as is usual in these villages.
Dr. P: Sorry? I think you misunderstand, or misunderstood me. I was looking for Lady Whom.
Maud: You ‘was’ looking for her? Have you stopped looking for her now, young man?
Dr. P: I have. Seeing as how I has now found her whereabouts; which turned out to be hereabouts.
Maud: Or thereabouts!
Dr. P: Precisely! I was misdirected the wrong way by some youths on the traffic islands at the edge of the village.
Maud: Layabouts… on roundabouts.
Dr. P: In-deed!
Maud: And in fact, supposéd doctor.
Dr. P: I must speak with you.
Maud: Then we must stop this conversation immediately.
Dr. P: Or sooner.
Maud: Very well. (There is a short pause) About what would you speak to Lady Whom about?
Dr. P: Do you always speak of yourself in the third person?
Maud: Yes; I used to play cricket.
Dr. P: Ah! I see.
Narr: Though he clearly didn’t.
Dr. P: And who or ‘whom’ are you Sirrah?
Narr: I am the narrator to your conversation; I add a few details here and there to allow the listener (or the reader) to understand what is going on.
Dr. P: Why should they be akin to that knowledge when we so clearly are not?
Narr: It is the way of things in this sort of genre, Dr. Proctor.
Dr. P: Harrumph!
Maud: Yes. I can see that it may be a help to our audience; but, it is a bit unfair on us.
Narr: I have no free will in this, malady; my words have been written for me in advance.
Dr. P: What! Are we predestined to a destined destination?
Narr: Yes.
Maud: And we have to follow a path set out for us.
Narr: Yes.
Dr. P: Without any hope of ultimate salvation?
Narr: Yes.
Maud:
Delilah walked over to the ‘Staff Only’ sign-encumbered door and knocked briskly three times upon its imposing façade.
Posted in books, library, mystery, overdue, readme, story, writing
Tagged #dissapearances, #libraries, #library, #marieceleste, #shortstory, mystery, story
Posted in crime, detective, dialogue, dialogueforaplay, murder, mystery, Play, silly, sleuth, theater, theatre
Tagged #dialogueforaplay, #foolishness, #hangerfarmpoets, #play. '#theatre, #spoof, #theater, crime, detective, Dialogue, murder, mystery, Silliness
Act 2 Scene1
Stage is lit. A uniformed policeman is present. The lights go out as DCI Syd of CID enters. He trips
Tbc
DCI: Darn!
The lights go up. DCI is on the floor with the white outline. He stands up with it. DCI: What’s this?
Tbc
PC: That’s the outline of the stiff’s body, sir.
DCI: Isn’t it supposed to be in chalk? PC: HSE rules! Dust hazard!
Tbc
DCI: Chalk dust! A hazard? You cannot be serious!
PC: Deadly, sir.
DCI: Deadly ‘serious’ or deadly ‘chalk dust’?
Tbc
PC: Both! We have to use chalk ‘substitute’.
DCI: It’s ‘Iron!’ Aren’t HSE worried about ‘rust!’
PC: I can’t say.
Tbc
DCI: You can tell me I’m a policeman.
PC: You’re a policeman!
DCI: Really! By the way; where has the stiff gone?
Tbc
PC: The body of the “deceased” was apprehended trying to buy a drink in the intermission. He wasn’t ‘really’ dead!
Tbc
DCI: Constable, let’s pretend that the ‘stiff’ is a real ‘live’ dead man for the moment. The public expects it.
Tbc
PC: Make a wish!
DCI: Sorry?
PC: As you wish! Tip of the Slongue.
DCI: Have you been drinking?
PC: Yes, sir, water!
Tbc
DC Acey enters. Sees policemen, about turns.
DCI: Have you found any clues, Constable?
PC: Only snooker ones, sir.
Tbc
DCI: I’ll let that rest. Where are the suspects?
PC: They were in the bar, too.
DCI: Keep it realistic, constable.
Tbc
An unknown lady walks in from ‘out’.
Lady: Is this the ‘Crime Scene?’
DCI: It is.
Lady: Lovely! Thanks!
She leaves.
Tbc
-/-
Posted in crime, dialogueforaplay, murder, mystery, suspense, whodunnit
Tagged #dialogueforaplay, #play, #suspense, #whodunnit, crime, detective, murder
Dr 1: Would a knife sticking into his back be… a clue to his probable death?
Dr P: Yes – is there one?
Dr 1: No.
Tbc
There is a lull
DC Acey: Ummm!
Laura: Don’t you have to draw around the body now?
DC Acey: Yes – that’s a plan!
Tbc
Dr. 1: Should I call an ambulance?
DC Acey: You should, yes.
Dr 1: But, will I?
DC Acey: Yes – stop being a prat!
Tbc
Laura: Dr P?
DR P: Yes, Laura?
Laura: I’ve been getting these pains in my chest – would you like to take a look?
Tbc
DC Acey: I’m not sure that is a good idea!
Dr P: Why not?
DC Acey: Because Laura is hiding a secret!
Laura: I am?
Tbc
Dramatic Music
Laura: Yes, it’s true! I have a deep, dark secret. Nobody has realised that I am not Laura, but…
Tbc
Laura: …I am… (dramatic pause) …
Dr P: Get on with it!
DC Acey: Ditto.
Dr P: Ditto? Are you an imbecile?
Tbc
DC Acey: I may be – who wants to know?
Dr 1: I don’t.
Laura: Are you interested in what I am?
Dr P: Yes, my son!
Tbc
Laura: (gasps) You knew?
Dr P: I have always known – ever since your birth, Laurence!
Dr 1: Florence? Son? What?
Tbc
DC Acey: Yes, this is Laurence Protocol aka Laura.
Laurence: And I killed Harold in spite!
Dr 1: In spite of what?
Tbc
—————————————————————
This is a note to say that if you have got this far – well done and thank you G:) #dialogueforaplay
Posted in crime, detective, murder, mystery, novel, story, wip, workinprogress
Tagged #dialogueforaplay, #hangerfarmpoets, @HolisticMoon, crime, detective, infograe, murder, mystery
Laura: (miffed) Excuse me. I am suffering with shock and trauma from the loss of a close one.
2nd Man: How close?
tbc
Laura: I don’t know – I have no spatial awareness.
Man: What? Should we call the police?
2nd Man: The ‘Police!’
tbc
3rd Man arrives
3rd Man: I am the police.
Laura: I thought there would be more of you.
3rd Man: I’ve been dieting.
tbc
Man: Can I be called Doctor 1, now? It’s rather confusing.
Laura: Certainly, Doctor 1 – If that is your real name!
tbc
3rd Man: And I am DC Acey – and no puns on that or I shall have to nick you; with this penknife!
Laura: Charming!
tbc
Dr 1: Can you provide a second opinion, Dr. Protocol?
Dr P: It usually takes longer, but I shall try… he’s dead!
Tbc
DC Acey: Well done! Now, I must carry out some preliminary tasks. Firstly: Hello, hello, hello!
Omnes: Hello!
Tbc
DC Acey: Is this the stiff?
Dr 1: No, that’s Laura!
Laura: Really!
DC Acey: Sorry, miss, if you’d move about more.
Tbc
Dr P: I can say nothing more… But, I can see no cause for the deceased’s death – apart from a lack of breathing!
Tbc
Laura: Are you really a doctor?
DC Acey: No, Miss, I am a Detective Constable! These two, however…
Laura: Sorry!
Tbc
—————————————————————————
If you have started at #dialogueforaplay 11 and have not read #dialogueforaplay 1-10 then you really need to go back to the very beginning to get the full effect of the words above – #dialogueforaplay 21-30 and so on will be available when I have done the ‘writing them’ thing – Thank You G:)
Posted in crime, detective, murder, mystery, story, twitter
Tagged #detectives, #dialogueforaplay, #hangerfarmpoets, crime, murder, mystery, novel
Can any Twitterers / Tweeters / Twits / Twoos or the like that are into the crime / detective / murder / mystery genres just check out my #dialogueforaday posts to give me some positive / negative / neutral / neural feedback upon my words – it may take a little effort, but I shall be so grateful of any help in this. G:) Thank You
Any future plot twists or suggestions would be gratefully received and considered and acknowledged – G:)
Posted in crime, detective, murder, mystery, story, tweet, twitter, workinprogress
Tagged #dialogueforaplay, crime, detective, murder, mystery, story, workinprogress
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