Category Archives: mad

The Enid of an Era…

image

I almost
(But, not quiet)
Wrote the write thing today.

Ewe no when sum daze
Ewe just don’t get hit write?

Wheel, teddy, was just won of doze daze.

It was knot hay problem
It can sun bee fixed
Oar, it May bee butter as hit hiss.

Whooo nose?

Listless Limericks for 27th September, 2014

Listless Limericks - 27th September 2014

The Way of the Limerick

The first line is always the worst;
Then the second line, which quickly follows the first;
Then is the third
The forth is then heard
And to come last the fifth line is eternally cursed!

-/-

The WOTD

The ‘Word of the Day’ it is… ‘Euphoric!!!

Which in Aberdeen is spoken in Doric

So, in the Aberdonian ‘Play of the Day’ which is…

Hamlet;  Hamlet doth say:

(To Horatio): ‘Alas, puir Yorick!”*

* (From Willam Shakespeare’s Danish Play -Aberdeen Ed.  ‘Alas, puir Yorick, Ah kent heem, Horatio; a fellaw ay infinite jest.’
-:-
A statue from Central Aberdeen
One night was sprayed fluorescent green
The police were confused
The public amused
But, to so paint the Prince Albert ‘was’ mean!
-/-
Whilst piloting Flight 612
The captain discovered a screw
Laying loose on the floor
Then he found three screws more
Then his false leg fell off – over Crewe!
-/-
The end of the world is Nigh!
So come let us all say goodbye!
“Cheerio!”
“Time to go!”
“We’re all of us going to die…!”… eventually!
-/-
The man who is writing these words
Refuses point-blank to shoot birds
Clay pigeons – yes.
He has pacifist aims, I guess
And he’s a poet, so he’s one of the nerds!
-/-
A Scotsman was wearing a quilt
Because of the food he had Spilt
It covered his knees,
his ankles, phalanges;
But, it nowhere near covered his guilt!*

(*at not wearing a kilt!)
-/-

The AWOTD

 The ‘Alternative Word of the Day’ it is… ‘Mistaken’

For I can’t understand what you mean by ‘taekin?

Am I ‘taekin’ two yews?

I’m not, please excuse –

I’m from the South, where old Daleks are all but forsaken!*

* It may help you to understand the above to know that it was written in Aberdeen where I had the great delight of having a conversation with a local chappie last night who clearly thought that he made perfect sense – I only heard that he was suffering from Hay-Fever (and not from visiting the Theatre) and that explained his situation. I think a fine 12-year-old Hay-Fever was more likely! I’m from the very south of England.

 -/-

Whilst writing a few of the above

The writer thought about his true love

At home with the pets

He hopes that she gets

A laugh from some of the above!

(to Jane x)

-/-

Note to the discernible reader: I do make all of these up for you, just you. I hope they bring a smile to your face, as they have to mine –  G:)