Category Archives: @infograe

Limericks for 10th September, 2014

Strange Limerick S

Shortened Limerick

oh-so-slick

kiss-me-quick

funny…

punny…

limerick…

-/-

Shortened Limerick (extended version)

There once was a girl, oh-so-slick

Whose motto is now ‘kiss-me-quick’

She thought it was funny

To be rather punny

And end up in this sad limerick

-/-

A Limerick is a worthy thing indeed
A Limerick is good to read in times of need
They are short
Give you support
Aid your recovery and wish you ‘God Speed!’

-/-

The Limerick was lost in his car
He’d travelled too fast and too far
He had no sat-nav
And he Needed the… toilet
And was amazed that anyone could personify a Limerick as being able to drive a vehicle on the Queen’s highway.

-/-

A Limerick is full of good cheer
You can use one to toast in the ‘new’ year
Hold it up high
“Here’s mud in your eye!”
Oops! Should have been ‘wine’ there, I fear.

-/-

Oh, great Limerick, mightiest of forms
Thou hast most often inveigled the norms
Brought forth laughter
From ‘ducks’ and hereafter
I revere you as a queen bee loves her swarms.

-:-
A Giraffe with a Carafe of fine wine

Said “I’m having a cold drink – it’s fine!

I once had a hot coffee

It was tasty and frothy

But the caffeine-fix kept me up until nine!

-/-

#SeptemberLimericks

 

 

This Guy’s Limericks for September 9th, 2014

September Limerick 

To write a Limerick from scratch

And getting the rhymes to match

Is no easy task

It is a big ask

But, this is the first of the batch!

-/-

When driving your car in a hurry

you should never be eating hot curry

If the curry’s too hot

You could spill the lot

In your lap – now there’s a worry!

-/-

The word of the day is ‘Munificence’

I cannot define its significance;

You can say it a lot,

But, I just don’t know what

it means, well, that’s just my ignorance.

I went and looked it up in a dictionary,

As I thought that it might have been fictionary;

But, no, it was true,

and it means: I give you,

the poor, who have nothing, my Pictionary.

Yesterday’s word was ‘rambunctious’

And tomorrow’s is ‘proselytize’

And the way things are going,

There’s no way of knowing,

If learning them will make me wise.

But, I’ll try and remember their meanings,

Though some of them just won’t be learnt,

I’ll say them by rote,

Put some in a quote

And the difficult ones… will be burnt.

So, another day older, and wiser.

Another term lodged in my brain

But there’s a lack of capacity

For my learning rapacity (look it up)

And I’ve forgotten my P.I.N. code, again.

-/-

An Indian Elephant Watches An Episode Of EastEnders For The First Time – A Limerick

An elegantly eloquent elephant

Expected an episode intelligent;

But though watching at first,

He perceived a great thirst,

And off for a drink to New Delhi went.

 

Song-Title Haikus (lots of them)

haiku-poetry edit

There is nothing like…

Well. you can choose what you want;

A dame? Suppose not.

-/-

Another one bites…

A sausage roll? Egg sarnie?

The ‘dust?’ Whatever!

-/-

When a man loves a…

Fishing rod? Ginster’s pasty?

Woman? What happens?

-/-

Do you want to know…

My P.I.N. Number? Who I am?

A secret? Can’t tell!

-/-

Another brick in…

Time saves nine? Search of a home?

The ‘Wall?’ With mortar?

-/-

House of the rising…

Yeast-based product? Air Baloon?

Sun? Mail? Telegraph?

-/-

Man, I feel like a…

Lay down? Cup of tea? Right prat!

Woman? Have we done this?

-/-

The long and winding…

I know this one… is it ‘toad?’

Road! Almost got it.

 

-/-

 

#songtitlehaiku

Wal-ku 42-44 (Haze, Cloud & Rollin’) by Vega & Haiku

wild_flower_meadow_panorama heys

Wal-ku 42 (Haze)

Vega:

“Hey! Hey!”

Haiku:

“What?”

Vega:

“Hey!

Haiku:

“What?”

Vega:

“Bright golden ‘Heys!’ in the mead-“

Haiku:

“Ow! Please stop singing.”

 

Wal-ku 43 (Cloud)

Vega:

“I wandered lonely…”

Haiku:

“You getting poetical?”

Vega:

“Hold on…

…as a…

…pup!”

 

(NB Later continued with the next line of…

Vega: “That chews upon a paper cup…” )

 

Wal-ku 44 (Rollin’)

Vega:

“Watch! First, I do this

Then I sort of go like this

‘Cause that’s how I roll!”

 

-/-

 

#vegathedoggerelpoet

#haikuthelabradoo

#wal-ku

#puppypoems

 

Screenshot_2014-08-06-11-38-00-1Screenshot_2014-08-18-15-17-46-1

 

 

Limericks (in disguises) for 8th September, 2014

disguise edit

 

“Money is the root of all evil!”

Said an elephant to a boll weevil,

“It brings you no joy

Whether elk, rat or boy;

So, ‘mine’ to a cat’s home, I’ll leave all!”

 

-/-

 

I wandered lonely as a Limerick

A wee, sleekit, cowran, tim’rous Limerick

That stoppeth one of three…

 

-/-

 

Limerick, Limerick, burning bright

I think I’ve caught my house alight…

 

-/-

 

Shall I compare thee to a… Limerick

Like a haiku, but not as quick

Not over in a trice

And twice as nice

And surely you’re not half as thick!

 

-/-

 

There was a young lady from Cheam

Who would purr like a cat with the cream

She was chased by a dog

one day in the fog

When it bit her behind… a bike-shed, she did scream!

 

-/-

 

The word of the day is… ‘Cajole’

I won’t use it to get you parole

I will just add some pressure

in an unequal measure

Then pray for your ungodly soul!

 

-/-

 

May your body be fit as a fiddle

Not too wide or too soft in the middle

May all of your bits

Not leave people in fits

And your doodahs dee-diddle-dum diddle!

 

-/-

 

The Limericks, they were unhappy

Got grumpy, then they got snappy

Committed the crime

Of failing to rhyme

Their fifth lines.

 

-/-

 

There once was a non-rhyming couplet

Who was only 40% of a Limerick.

 

-/-

Limerick Template

There once was (*insert  ‘a lady’ / ‘a girl’ / ‘a boy’ / ‘a man’ / ‘other’ here)

Who was (*insert funny rhyming second line ending here)

The (*insert the character from the first line doing something funny here, but in a shorter, snappier line with a different rhyme to the one used previously)

(*Then – rhyming with line 3, but not lines 1 and 2 – insert further funny short line here)

(*Then finish it all with a real rib-tickler of a line that rhymes with lines 1 and 2 – but not 3 and 4 – )

 

Stand back and enjoy the plaudits.

Gym-ku 3-4 (out for a run & treading the boards)

pure-gym-9 edit

Gym-ku 3 (out for a run)

Music in my ears;

A sweet sweat upon my brow;

Where shall I go now?

 

Gym-ku 4 (treading the boards)

My Shakespearean audio

Tells me of times long ago

Before Gym the 1st.

 

#gym-ku

Wal-ku 39-41 (No Forest For The Wicked, The Sun Shines & Homeward Bound) by Vega and Haiku

IMG_5452

Wal-ku 39 (No Forest For The Wicked)

Vega:

“It’s the ‘New’ Forest;

Been here for a thousand years!”

Haiku:

“That makes me feel young.”

 

 

Wal-ku 40 (The Sun Shines)

Vega:

“Four seasons: one day.”

Haiku:

“I Can’t wait for it to snow.”

Vega:

“It won’t be too long.”

 

Wal-ku 41 (Homeward Bound)

Vega:

“I wish I was home.”

Haiku:

“But, we are having great fun!”

Vega:

“It’s nearly tea-time!”

 

-/-

 

#vegathedoggerelpoet

#haikuthelabradoo

#wal-ku

#puppypoems

 

 

Limericks (more ‘various’ ones) for 7th September

more rhnsg8 Limerick

There once was a man from Milan

Who said he was ‘It-al-i-an!’

But he lied through his teeth

He was really from Leith

A Scotsman whose real name was Ew-an!

-/-

There once was a Limerick from me

That was shorter than most

And didn’t rhyme

Or have enough lines.

-/-

There once was a man from Limerick

Who didn’t write Limericks

His name was Patrick

He once scored a hat-trick

But he didn’t write any Limericks.

-/-

There once was a lady from Spain

Who was beautiful when out in the rain

She spent some of her time

In the midst of a rhyme

But, mainly she stood on the plain.

-/-

There once was a man from Totton

Just sayin’

-/-

There was never a lady from Crewe

Who wanted to get a tattoo

Of a spider of size

adorning her thighs

She just didn’t like them, do you?

-/-

On the first day of June every year

There’s a man with a bottle of beer

He takes one small swig

Then whips off his wig

Do you know him? Or could it be you?

-/-

A Limerick disguised as a Sonnet

Had some sort of bee in its bonnet

It was tired of jokes

About ladies and blokes

And wanted some praise heaped upon it.

The trouble with Limericks seems

To be when they have ambitious dreams

And think about how

They would make themselves ‘Wow!’

When they’re all about laughter, not themes.

So this Limerick, he thought for a while

Does a Sonnet make everyone smile

They are serious things

Of ‘Love’ ‘Loss’ and ‘Kings’

That would make fools like me run a mile

So… ‘There was a young Limerick from…

-/-

A Limerick walked into a bar…

It happened one day in Qatar

He was well under age

And he left in a rage

When they refused him Stella Artois.

 

Wal-ku 36-38 by Vega & Haiku

image

Wal-ku 36 (Spain)

Vega:
“Where the food smells good…”
Haiku:
“…and the music is happy.”
Both:
“La Churreria!”

Wal-ku 37 (Poetry)

Vega:
“If I said to you:
‘Tiger, tiger, burning bright…’ “
Haiku:
“I’d say you were nuts!”

Wal-ku 38 (The New Forest)

Vega:
“New Forest ponies;
Walking through ‘lucky’ heather…”
Haiku:
“We found a feather!”

#haikuthelabradoo &  #vegathedoggerelpoet

#haikuthelabradoo
&
#vegathedoggerelpoet

#vegathedoggerelpoet

#haikuthelabradoo

#wal-ku

#puppypoems

Limericks (In many guises) for 6th September, 2014

Limerick

The ‘Word of the Day’ Limerick

 

The ‘Word of the Day’ is… ‘Irrelevant!’
It doesn’t matter to me
And, anyway, it wouldn’t ‘t make a good Limerick;
So, let’s not bother with it…
Whatever it was.

-/-

A man from deepest, darkest Peru
Had a llama and owned a canoe
He took his llama for rides
Depending on tides
And they both left the punchline to you.

-/-

To write Limericks
Is just not an easy thing
So I won’t write one.

-/-

A man wrote a Limerick one day
But, forgot to rhyme it
Which was a shame
I don’t remember what he was called
But, it will probably come back to me.

-/-

Upon Limericks
You can’t balance anything upon Limericks
You can’t dwell upon Limericks
You can’t even rely upon them (Limericks, that is)
You can’t get Limerick coupons anymore!
What use are they (Limericks, of course – which, I do believe, is what we were talking about)?