Category Archives: fun

I am Just a Silent Bee

Listen... can you hear me?

Listen… can you hear me?

I am just a silent bee
In a hive mind of like mentality
You cannot hear them or me
We are as silent as we can be.

And here’s the rub
“Buzz! Buzz!” Is not uz
No “Rub-a-dub-dub!”
We are as quiet as the quietest church mouze
We wouldn’t want to cause a fuzz.

And if you ever did hear uz
We wouldn’t be going “Buzzety Buzz!”
While we were a tooing and a froing;
We’d be singing
(ever so quietly)
“Honey, honey, honey…
Must be funny…”
Which
Strangely enough
Was written by a bee
Bee a…

Instructions For Nothing

Other sandwiches are available G:)

Other sandwiches are available G:)

Instructions For Nothing

Don’t stand on your foot-rest
Or rest on your laurels
Watch your Laurel and Hardys
And tend your hardy annuals
Whilst caring for your Beano and Bunty books
Book a holiday,
Read a newspaper your lounge
About a little stroll a lot
When salt is a spiller
throw caution to the four winds
And sodium chloride over your shoulder
Shoulder your burdens
For four of the seasons
And when seasoning
Pepper your sweet corns
With all the energy you can mustard
And least or most of all
Ignore instructions.

“Is This Poem Doing It For You?”

May Contain Words

May Contain Words

Is this poem doing it for you?

Is it?
Has it got enough punch
To make you miss your lunch;
Or are you yearning for something shorter?
A haiku, perhaps;
Where it’s over in seconds;
And you can move on.
Do you desire serious ‘Literature’
A ‘sonnet?’
If ‘that’ is so, I hope the words are not too dull.
They ‘may’ cause a lull.
Is this poem funny enough?
Or ‘too’ funny?
Is there a definitive amount of humour?
I think I heard a rumour that there is point where the length of a line is considered ‘too’ long; though it could be wrong.
Is this poem ‘too’ long for you?
Or ‘too’ repetitive?
Or ‘too’ repetitive?
Or is it familiarity breeding contempt;
Or, it could be exempt from the ‘too repetitive’ clause of poem-writing.
If there was such a thing.

And, should you have stopped reading this after the haiku?
Did you spot the haiku?
Do you care?
Do you even like poetry?

#dialogueforaplay (Tweets 91-105) The Ending is Nigh!

hash-tag dialogueforaplay 91-105

91

The PC chases doctors off stage. DCI looks bemused.

DCI: I look confused. Ergo: I am confused. I do follow. Leaves.

Tbc

92

Lady Whom, DC Acey and Laura/Laurence Protocol are left along with the stiff.

DC Acey: I don’t know about you lot.

Tbc

93

Lady W: Really!

DC Acey: I hadn’t finished – I was going to add ‘but, I’m confused!’

Laura: Well, you’re not alone!

Tbc

94

Lady W: Is he dead yet?

Laur: I’ll kick him.

DC Acey: Ouch!

Laur: He’s alive.

Lady W: I meant ‘him!’ (points)

Tbc

95

Laur kicks the stiff.

Stiff: Ouch!

Laur: He is ‘also’ alive.

Lady W launches a knife into the stiff.

Stiff: Really!

Tbc

96

Lady W: I had to do that; he’s been asking for it.

Laur: I didn’t hear him.

DC Acey: ‘And’ he ‘was’ already ‘dead!’

Tbc

97

Lady W: I just need to remove a couple of witnesses.

DC Acey: I pity them. More throwing daggers?

Lady W: Oh, yes!

Tbc

98

Laur: I think she means ‘us!’

DC Acey: Really?

Laur: I wish we’d all stop saying ‘really!’

Lady W: Your wish is…!

Tbc

99

Lady W throws 2 knives and DC Acey gets the point, Laura gets a 6-inch blade neatly between the eyes!

Lady W: Bye!

Tbc

100

Lady W: Being in the circus was excellent training for life… or for death… situations; I’m so glad I ran away!

Tbc

101

The Policemen Return.

DCI: Hello three times; what’s been going on here, then?

Lady W: Are you talking to me?

Tbc

102

DCI: Seems like you are the ‘last man standing!’

Lady W: Really!

DCI: it’s just a phrase!

PC: He’s going through!

Tbc

103

Lady W: I saw it all!

PC: You look like you’ve been around a bit!

Lady W: A masked man ran into the room and slew!

Tbc

104

DCI: Slew?

Lady W: Yes ‘slew!’ And having slewed, he ran off into the night!

PC: It’s 3:30!

Lady W: The afternoon!

Tbc

105

DCI: Constable, we are going to need some more ‘chalk’ outlines. If you can just mosey off, good lad. Don’t rush.

Tbc

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