Listen… can you hear me?
I am just a silent bee
In a hive mind of like mentality
You cannot hear them or me
We are as silent as we can be.
And here’s the rub
“Buzz! Buzz!” Is not uz
We are as quiet as the quietest church mouze
We wouldn’t want to cause a fuzz.
And if you ever did hear uz
We wouldn’t be going “Buzzety Buzz!”
While we were a tooing and a froing;
We’d be singing
(ever so quietly)
“Honey, honey, honey…
Must be funny…”
Was written by a bee
Other sandwiches are available G:)
Instructions For Nothing
Don’t stand on your foot-rest
Or rest on your laurels
Watch your Laurel and Hardys
And tend your hardy annuals
Whilst caring for your Beano and Bunty books
Book a holiday,
Read a newspaper your lounge
About a little stroll a lot
When salt is a spiller
throw caution to the four winds
And sodium chloride over your shoulder
Shoulder your burdens
For four of the seasons
And when seasoning
Pepper your sweet corns
With all the energy you can mustard
And least or most of all
May Contain Words
Is this poem doing it for you?
Has it got enough punch
To make you miss your lunch;
Or are you yearning for something shorter?
A haiku, perhaps;
Where it’s over in seconds;
And you can move on.
Do you desire serious ‘Literature’
If ‘that’ is so, I hope the words are not too dull.
They ‘may’ cause a lull.
Is this poem funny enough?
Or ‘too’ funny?
Is there a definitive amount of humour?
I think I heard a rumour that there is point where the length of a line is considered ‘too’ long; though it could be wrong.
Is this poem ‘too’ long for you?
Or ‘too’ repetitive?
Or ‘too’ repetitive?
Or is it familiarity breeding contempt;
Or, it could be exempt from the ‘too repetitive’ clause of poem-writing.
If there was such a thing.
And, should you have stopped reading this after the haiku?
Did you spot the haiku?
Do you care?
Do you even like poetry?
Posted in fun, Haiku, Humor, humour, poem, Poetry, silly, Sonnet
Tagged #irony, #sonnet, Haiku, Poem, Poetry
The PC chases doctors off stage. DCI looks bemused.
DCI: I look confused. Ergo: I am confused. I do follow. Leaves.
Lady Whom, DC Acey and Laura/Laurence Protocol are left along with the stiff.
DC Acey: I don’t know about you lot.
Lady W: Really!
DC Acey: I hadn’t finished – I was going to add ‘but, I’m confused!’
Laura: Well, you’re not alone!
Lady W: Is he dead yet?
Laur: I’ll kick him.
DC Acey: Ouch!
Laur: He’s alive.
Lady W: I meant ‘him!’ (points)
Laur kicks the stiff.
Laur: He is ‘also’ alive.
Lady W launches a knife into the stiff.
Lady W: I had to do that; he’s been asking for it.
Laur: I didn’t hear him.
DC Acey: ‘And’ he ‘was’ already ‘dead!’
Lady W: I just need to remove a couple of witnesses.
DC Acey: I pity them. More throwing daggers?
Lady W: Oh, yes!
Laur: I think she means ‘us!’
DC Acey: Really?
Laur: I wish we’d all stop saying ‘really!’
Lady W: Your wish is…!
Lady W throws 2 knives and DC Acey gets the point, Laura gets a 6-inch blade neatly between the eyes!
Lady W: Bye!
Lady W: Being in the circus was excellent training for life… or for death… situations; I’m so glad I ran away!
The Policemen Return.
DCI: Hello three times; what’s been going on here, then?
Lady W: Are you talking to me?
DCI: Seems like you are the ‘last man standing!’
Lady W: Really!
DCI: it’s just a phrase!
PC: He’s going through!
Lady W: I saw it all!
PC: You look like you’ve been around a bit!
Lady W: A masked man ran into the room and slew!
Lady W: Yes ‘slew!’ And having slewed, he ran off into the night!
PC: It’s 3:30!
Lady W: The afternoon!
DCI: Constable, we are going to need some more ‘chalk’ outlines. If you can just mosey off, good lad. Don’t rush.
Posted in crime, detectives, dialogue, dialogueforaplay, fun, murder, Play, silly, sleuth
Tagged #dialogueforaplay, #graemesandford, #hangerfarmpoets, #janegoldsack, #play, #sleuth, @Jane_Goldsack, crime, detective, Dialogue, murder