Category Archives: Desert

A Fort for the Day.

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Captain Harrington: Frettingham!

Lieutenant Frettingham: Yes, Captain?

Harr: What is the status of the men after this morning’s little dawn sortie out of the fort?

Fret: Timpkins bought it.

Harr: Not ‘Timpkins’ I’ve known his family since before I can remember.

Fret: Tompkins bought it.

Harr: ‘Tompkins?’ Perhaps it was ‘his’ family that I knew; oh, dear.

Fret: Simpkins bought it.

Harr: Old Simpkins?

Fret: No, Young Simpkins.

Harr: Such is life. How is Old Simpkins?

Fret: He didn’t buy it.

Harr: Good. Experience tells.

Fret: No, Sir, he was in the hospital tent with dysentery.

Harr: Poor soul. And the others?

Fret: Watkins, Catkins, Merkins, and Jerkins all bought it.

Harr: Darn it! All the cream of our men bought it?

Fret: Afraid so, sir.

Harr: I should never have let them go.

Fret: You can’t stop trained young men when they decide to do something, sir.

Harr: No, I suppose not; but, if I catch any of them reading their copies of Punch on duty there will be some serious punishments, I can tell you

Fret: Yes, sir!

Harr (Conspiratorially): Did you get ‘me’ a copy before they sold out?

Fret: Yes, sir!

Harr: Good lad.

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Two Men in the Sahara – Episode: Hide and Seek

Daphne

Daphne

Two Men in the Sahara – Episode: Hide and Seek

Present are F.Lawrence (Flo) and Smiffee (Smiffee) who has just arrived

Smiff: Where have the boys got to, Flo?

Flo: They are off playing ‘Hide and Seek’.

Smiff: Who’s hiding?

Flo: They both are.

SD They both sigh

Flo: Sigh

Smiff: Sigh

Smiff: Well, it’s progress – remember when Quiffy played it on his own that time?

Flo: Yes, he was hiding for days.

Smiff: And we only found him by chance when he fell out of the palm tree as we were going past.

Flo: And luckily he wasn’t hurt.

Smiff: He landed on something soft.

Both: His head!

Both: Hahahaha!

Flo: I think they may be some time as Biffy decided to count up to a hundred before looking; then Quiffy said that wasn’t enough time it should be a thousand…

Smiff: And I suppose they compromised on a hundred-thousand?

Flo: Yup!

Smiff: Donuts!

Flo: Don’t mind if I do. Chocolate coated with sprinkles.

Smiff: You bet.

Flo: Lovely. Save some for the boys?

Smiff: No; they went stale last time.

Flo: The Boys or the donuts?

Smiff: Both!

Both! Hahahaha!

Both: Cheers!