Category Archives: cooking

Grae’s Picture Poems No. 2 (The Poetry Kitchen)

GRS Poem Picture - The Poetry Kitchen

A Recipe for Sauteéd Shakespeare by Graeme Sandford


Take one Puck and griddle the Earth, mid-simmer, for forty minutes, with acorns to taste.

Add a pound of flesh, take arms, end them, use every man after his dessert, without waste

Insert your Guildenstern and your Rosencrantz heads first, as you must;

Ingrate a little Lear of Corn., preferably wind-blown from the heath, for the crust;

Sieve a freshly blooded Montague and a young Capulet into the mix, checking expiry dates.

Blend in, if you can, one ripe Caliban with water and berries, or if unavailable a Trinculo or Stephano (Caliban’s ‘mates’)

If the flavour seems somewhat sweet to you, a pinch moor of Othello’s handkerchief can be folded in

Dust nightly with a spot of Lady M. to garnish, or cheat by using leaves from Dunsinane.

Serve i’ the heat, accompanied with Caesar salad, Dogberry sauce and I pray you watch

How a rich and full-bodied Malmsey will accompany this nicely – but don’t serve with Scotch!