Dr. P: Hello! I’m Doctor Proctor, Vector Inspector.
Dr. P: Yes. Don’t you believe me?
Maud: Well, it is a bit far-fetched.
Dr. P: I am an imminent physician!
Maud: Don’t you mean ’eminent?’
Dr. P: I might do. In time. Who is asking?
Dr. P: Okay; ‘whom’ is asking?
Maud: No. I am Lady Whom, Lady Maud Whom. The last in a long line of Whoms.
Dr. P: Ah! Just the parsonage that I was looking for!
Maud: If you are looking for the Parsonage, it’s by the church – as is usual in these villages.
Dr. P: Sorry? I think you misunderstand, or misunderstood me. I was looking for Lady Whom.
Maud: You ‘was’ looking for her? Have you stopped looking for her now, young man?
Dr. P: I have. Seeing as how I has now found her whereabouts; which turned out to be hereabouts.
Maud: Or thereabouts!
Dr. P: Precisely! I was misdirected the wrong way by some youths on the traffic islands at the edge of the village.
Maud: Layabouts… on roundabouts.
Dr. P: In-deed!
Maud: And in fact, supposéd doctor.
Dr. P: I must speak with you.
Maud: Then we must stop this conversation immediately.
Dr. P: Or sooner.
Maud: Very well. (There is a short pause) About what would you speak to Lady Whom about?
Dr. P: Do you always speak of yourself in the third person?
Maud: Yes; I used to play cricket.
Dr. P: Ah! I see.
Narr: Though he clearly didn’t.
Dr. P: And who or ‘whom’ are you Sirrah?
Narr: I am the narrator to your conversation; I add a few details here and there to allow the listener (or the reader) to understand what is going on.
Dr. P: Why should they be akin to that knowledge when we so clearly are not?
Narr: It is the way of things in this sort of genre, Dr. Proctor.
Dr. P: Harrumph!
Maud: Yes. I can see that it may be a help to our audience; but, it is a bit unfair on us.
Narr: I have no free will in this, malady; my words have been written for me in advance.
Dr. P: What! Are we predestined to a destined destination?
Maud: And we have to follow a path set out for us.
Dr. P: Without any hope of ultimate salvation?