Category Archives: Bee

I am Just a Silent Bee

Listen... can you hear me?

Listen… can you hear me?

I am just a silent bee
In a hive mind of like mentality
You cannot hear them or me
We are as silent as we can be.

And here’s the rub
“Buzz! Buzz!” Is not uz
No “Rub-a-dub-dub!”
We are as quiet as the quietest church mouze
We wouldn’t want to cause a fuzz.

And if you ever did hear uz
We wouldn’t be going “Buzzety Buzz!”
While we were a tooing and a froing;
We’d be singing
(ever so quietly)
“Honey, honey, honey…
Must be funny…”
Strangely enough
Was written by a bee
Bee a…

Nursery Rhyme Time 1

A Scottish Black Bee

A Scottish Black Bee

“Buzz buzz, Black Bee
Have you lost your stripes?”
“No, sir; not me
Those bees are different types;

One courts disaster
When you’ve go-faster bands
One is so much safer
If you’re a ninja fan.”

The Plight of the Humble Bumble-Bee Keeper!

A selection of British Bee-Keepers.

A selection of British Bee-Keepers.

Keeper of the Bees

It is now time, once again, to spare a thought for the plight of the humble, bumble-bee-

It was only a decade ago that we thought that British bee-keepers were a dying breed. Numbering fewer than 8,000 in number (and not all of those with a mating capacity) and declining slowly and surely into the endangered species category, there seemed no hope for them.

However, numbers have increased (perhaps due to an enforced mating programme) and at last count there were 25,000+ with the promise of a healthy increase in numbers for the future.

The British Bee-Keeper (descended from Apiarists) is a sturdy, hardy sort and their stubbornness has, at least in part, seen them safely ensconced in British gardens for years to come.

The Plight of the Humble Bumble Bee

A Bee

A Bee

Dialogue (imagine you are hearing it – it makes slightly more sense).

Grae: There are no Bs in Alaska.

Audience Member: There aren’t?

Grae: No.

Aud: How do you know that?

Grae: Jane told me.

Aud: How does ‘she’ know?

Grae: I don’t know; Alaska.
(To Jane) Jane?

Jane: What?

Grae: Alaska?

Jane: What about it?

Grae: Any ‘Bs’ in Alaska?

Jane: No; definitely no Bs in Alaska;
not a one!

Grae: Okay, thanks Jane.

Jane: You’re welcome.

Grae (To Aud): No, definitely no Bs in Alaska.

Aud: Ugger!

Ode to a Bee

A Bee

A Bee

Ode to a Bee

Oh, Bee
One can only
That you are a flier
When with your wing to body ratio,
Aloft, you shouldn’t go
Any higher
Than me, you know.

A Bee Poem


A bee, queuing in B&Q,
Hurt his wing and had to be taken to A&E, you see.
When he, the bee, got to A&E (B-Wing, of course)
He had to wait, as it was a hive of inactivity;
The bee waited…
and waited…
And the bee, he, became exasperated.
“I don’t want to cause a buzz;
Or make a fuss;
But, I have ‘been’ waiting for hours,
‘Four’ hours to ‘be’ precise – as I am won’t to ‘be!’ ”
“Be patient!” They said “Don’t make a scene; you will be seen soon!”

“I ‘am’ a bee patient; I have been patient, I will ‘be’ patient: and. as they say in old Latin: ‘Cebee Healbe, Byebyebee!’

(He ‘was’ an educated son of a bee.)

Eventually, he (the bee) was treated and allowed to ‘be’ discharged.

But, after that, I don’t know what bee-came of him.

Que sera, sera!