Author Archives: Words from a Lentil Institution

Xtreme Gardening – at the Poles.

I have two,

yes, ‘two’ gardens –

I am so blessed –

but, there is a distance between them,

and I have no rest,

as I go from one

to the other,

which is a round trip

of some forty-thousand miles or so –

and the climate’s not good

in either garden,

I have to grow frozen vegetables,

in the ice they harden;

well, at least they are ready

for the local farm shop –

to which place I stop

as I travel down:

Longyearbyen in Norway,

the nearest town,

or up to Ushuaia

in Argentina –

and you wonder why I wear a frown.

Yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

Every day is tomorrow,

until it becomes today,

and then quickly becomes yesterday.

A Haiku a Day

A Haiku a day

is too much for some people –

by just one Haiku.

Xtreme Gardening: In Babylon, about 600 BCE.

I have to admit,

that it’s a bit of a kerfuffle

getting to my garden;

there is a lot of hanging around,

waiting for a slot

on the Time Travellers’

Allotment Bus –

but, I’m not one

to make a fuss;

the journey is worth the wait;

and, I can also tell you,

that the Tower of Babel,

is definitely ‘not’ a fable.

Xtreme Gardening: In Zero Gravity.

In Zero Gravity,

no one can hear you scream,

as your secateurs float away,

and the herbs and vegetables

(that you so carefully planted)

disappear towards a distant galaxy

where the aliens shall feast upon them.

Xtreme Gardening; At the bottom of the Sea.

At the bottom of the sea,

there’s a deep-sea diver – me! –

with a trowel in my hand

(and a towel back on dry-land),

planting the seeds

in the soft sea-bed.

Xtreme Gardening: I’ve bought a little allotment

I’ve bought a little allotment,

an acre on the Moon,

peaceful, quiet (though the soil is none too good);

I haven’t actually been there,

I hope to get there soon.


“It’s so quiet here,

because we are all at home,

and our lives have changed.”

Vegans in Space

Those Vegans in space

they are so gravity free,

no animals there

to suffer cruelty.

Vegans in space

just floating around

considering their options

for reaching the ground.

Black Bat Night?

“Maud! Maud! Come into the garden!”

“You’re not going to sing at me, are you?”

“Might do.”