Author Archives: Words from a Lentil Institution

The race to be

Is it you,

or is it me,

who’s going to be

the last leaf on the tree?

Every other leaf has fallen,

we’ve been left behind;

and when one more leaf

has heard its calling;

there will only be

one last solitary leaf

upon the tree to find.

Picking up two Pigs from a Grid Reference.

I had a dream

whereby I had to try

and pick up two pigs

from a grid reference

that I was given.

They would go in the back

of my parcel van –

though I sensed a lack of space,

and the sad look upon a pig’s face.

I knew not where the grid reference was,

although my supposition did yield

to the probability of a field;

however, before the back axle

on my van it broke,

from my being an Uber driver

for a pair of Porcine parcels,

from my dream

I awoke.

The Tigon and the Liger

The Tigon and the Liger

were playing Twister, one day:

well, there’s nothing much

to do in the jungle,

when no-one’s watching.

or so they say.

The Cardboard Boat

“All aboard the Cardboard Boat!” they cried.

“But, will the Cardboard boat stay afloat,

when it sets off from the shore?” I asked.

They smiled at me, as I waved them off,

then frowned as the Cardboard Boat

took on water, then took on more,

and sank within fifty feet of the nearby shore.

“They waded back, with soggy eyes,

from tears or salt I could not surmise;

“We thought the Cardboard Boat would float,

but now we have to make a note,

to tell ourselves that Cardboard is no good,

and the next boat that we make

should be made of… paper –

then we shall have a merry caper!”

Walking away from the past

Walking away from the past

is that much harder

when your leg’s encased

in a plaster cast.

50 Shades of Beige.

50 Shades of Beige.

1. Heavily into M & S.

2. Need I say more?

Banonions

Too close to bunions

to foot the bell

(or fit the bill)

with banana skin

and onion peel

removed,

bananas none too ripe,

onions are great,

ignore the hype;

and cook with skill

in a skillet, until…

… ready;

then eat

with a friend named Freddie –

what a treat!

NB don’t eat Freddie, it’s not that Vegan –

ask our mentor, Peter Egan.

“What does a poet need?”

It is said that ‘some poets’

find inspiration in a bottle;

but, in my case,

I do not need the Demon drink;

I think

outside of the box,

like the canny fox

who declined a job offer

from Erwin Schrödinger,

and was pleased at that –

unlike Frisky the renamed cat.

Teapotupatree

There was,

some might say,

a necessity

for a Teapotupatree;

me, I can’t even see

the point in tea.

The Case of the Ten Red Herrings

The Case of the Ten Red Herrings

has just become a thing,

it wasn’t there before,

in fact, there wasn’t anything;

but, now, into existence sprung,

the case of the Ten Red Herrings,

is an idea

whose calling bell has rung.