Author Archives: Words from a Lentil Institution

Dr. Foster’s Gloucester Imposter

Dr. Foster’s Gloucester Imposter

posed a pretty puzzle for the Police.

He looked like Doctor Foster,

but, was, as we are told, an imposter;

‘His posture was wrong,

his accent too long,

and his grasp on medicine

was dilute, not strong.’

The Police posted a picture

upon a lamppost;

and awaited a lead –

as did the Police Alsatian,

who was of a needy breed.


“To be… “

To be,

or not ‘not’ to be;

that is no question;

it is merely the saying

of the same thing…

in differing ways.

To not be,

or not to ‘not’ be;

is just confusing,

and aren’t we

already confused enough?

That is a question –

although it may,

or may not, be

a rhetorical one.

Never Forget to Feed the Elephant in the Room

Never, ever, forget

to feed the elephant;

because, you don’t want

an angry, hungry elephant,

in your house.

A mouse might chew

on your skirting boards

to get through to the other side;

but, you won’t be able to hide

the damage that a ‘phant would do

if they wanted to.

The skirting boards

might be the only things left;

of the rest of the room,

you could well be bereft.

Nothing to see here

Nothing to see here, today,

all ideas have been consumed;

please come back tomorrow –

when abnormal service may be resumed.

Sunday, not a poetry day?

I tried to write a poem,

something, anything;

but, nothing could I write;

so, I went for a walk instead,

to consider the nothingness

in my head.

R.H.Y.T.H.M. & R.H.Y.M.E.

Red-handed, you, the hit-man,

are caught with my misspelling

clenched between your teeth;

your reply:

‘Red-handed? You, me, everybody!

Culpability is my only crime.

A quick Haiku thing

Because time is short,

and I have some things to do,

a real quick Haiku.

(I know, it’s a fix,

to write a poem so trite;

but, it’s what I do).

Less is More? (more or less, that is).

I have written less today,

than I did yesterday;

hence my surge in popularity


Should I continue the trend,

or amend my writing

to allow peaks and troughs?

If I continue to write less,

I confess I would be non-plussed

if my stock was still to rise;

I would have to surmise

that if I wrote nothing at all, ever,

I could be famous.

Or infamous…


Potatoes and Poets

Poets like potatoes,

and potatoes like poets;

what is more,

a poet can be found in potatoes,

but not in a potato;

a potato, it should be said,

cannot be found in a poet.

It’s all just letters and words,

don’t you think?

Rosa Brupptley

Rosa was a stand-up.

Her rise to stardom was meteoric.

Her fall from grace catastrophic;

one minute she was riding the heights,

the next, she was plumbing…

plumbing the depths, that is.