I hadn’t seen an Aspidistra before,
or if I had, I hadn’t known for sure
what it was that I was looking at.
But, when, one day,
a low-flying one
almost caught my eye,
as it swooped close by
no less, nor more,
than six feet above the ground,
I found out what one looked like,
close up, as you might say.
I didn’t know at that moment,
but research enlightened me
upon what not on earth that thing could be.
“An ‘Aspidistra!’ I had exclaimed,
a la Edith Evans,
“Good heavens!” I continued,
in much the same vein.
“Well I’ll be…!”
Though what I would be
is lost to history –
whose tales usually mention the winners favourably,
and not the abject losers,