“You can keep your flying Aspidistras!”

I hadn’t seen an Aspidistra before,

or if I had, I hadn’t known for sure

what it was that I was looking at.


But, when, one day,

a low-flying one

almost caught my eye,

as it swooped close by

no less, nor more,

than six feet above the ground,

I found out what one looked like,

close up, as you might say.

I didn’t know at that moment,

but research enlightened me

upon what not on earth that thing could be.


“An ‘Aspidistra!’ I had exclaimed,

a la Edith Evans,

“Good heavens!” I continued,

in much the same vein.

“Well I’ll be…!”

Though what I would be

is lost to history –

whose tales usually mention the winners favourably,

and not the abject losers,

like me.


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