This, is my latest poetry book…

This, is my latest poetry book,

I thought you’d like a copy,

I’m sure you’d like a look;

and I knew you wouldn’t buy it,

even by hook, or by crook;

so I’m going to read it to you –

are you sitting comfortably?

Paying attention?

I haven’t tied your hands

to the chair too tightly? Have I?

I could release just a little of their tension.

Okay, now please listen carefully,

there will be questions after;

and you’ll need at least seventy per cent

to pass – excuse my sinister laughter –

and here I mention, any less,

and you shall stay in for further detention,

for being the bottom of the class.