Monthly Archives: July 2021

Barnaby the BananaBee

Barnaby, the BananaBee

was the first of his kind

in history.

Never before,

upon any shore,

had a BananaBee like Barnaby

been seen.

King of the Bees



The King of the Bees!

You might not have heard a lot about me,

I’m not a well known bee;

but, on my throne,



am alone.

That’s the problem, you see;

I ‘am’ a mythological bee,

consigned to history,

as a legend,

a myth (not a moth, a myth)

a marvellous creature

that never existed.

Which is why

I have hereby enlisted

the majorly modern media medium



to establish my existence.

And, by avid persistence,

I shall regain my reign

as the leader of BeeKind.

Soon, my friends,

you will find

the Queen Bee


to a footnote in the mystery

of ancient Bee history.


‘KingBee, King of the Bees!’


“Your Majesty, if you please.”

100m Butterfly

I went to the Olympics,

in search of this very long (and rare) species;

but, like all the other Lepidopterists there,

was sadly disappointed to find

that I had been blind

to the reality of the term.

Anyway, I’m off now to guess

the age of the dress event.

‘Bee Longing’ & ‘Bee Long’

Bee Longing’


I long to see

the bee

in Nature

living naturally,

without the threats

that seem to be

ever more a reality.


‘Bee Long’


Weighing in at over three metric pounds,

and reaching lengths of up to twenty-seven inches

is it any wonder

that the breeding of the Ground Bee

(with its short, stubby wings)

hasn’t really taken off.

A weekend Haiku (in advance)

A weekend Haiku

seems a thing that I can do,

and when done… enjoy!

Negger say ‘Raggit on a Goat!’

You know you want to;

gut it shouldn’t gee done;

your goat nay sink,

cacksize into the drink;

and all gecause

you said ‘Raggit’

on a goat.

And then there were one

We started off with ten,

lost one to a hungry hen –

that left nine.

Nine became eight,

when the weight of a five-bar gate

fell with what could be termed ‘a considerable hate.

One went to Heaven

(or Hell),

when thrown into a well –

leaving seven.

One was buried under some four million Lego bricks,

leading to a construct of six – nerves were beginning to tense by this time.

One drowned in a sink,

another caught fire in a freezer;

those left were beginning to think

of the danger when using a small lemon squeezer.

Four remained.

One of which was ordained,

by being strangled with a freshly-starched

lapdog collar –

you should have heard them holler.

Of the three left,

one poor soul was savagely eaten by ferrets,;

and then there was the electrified knife,

which removed one of his life –

whilst cutting a loaf –

(pre-sliced bread certainly does have its merits)

And then there were one.

My son, Noah.

My son, Noah,

is building a boat…

I wish he’d get a proper job,

to keep this family afloat.


My son Noah,

Is predicting some rain;

and he’s saving up for that rainy day,

he’s being such a pain.


And, now, he want’s a puppy –

in fact he’s wanting two.

He’s never wanted a pet before,

what is a parent to do.


And then he says he wants to go to sea,

to sail the ocean blue,

but we reckon he’ll be seasick,

before he’s left the quay.


Our son, Noah,

is building a boat,

and it’s gonna be a big one,

judging by the cheque that I just wrote.

The Parrot and the Cat

Parrot and Cat

sat still upon the mat,

that they ‘had’ been told to stay on ;

Parrot had grumbled about it,

Cat had just relaxed,

‘It is what it is.’ said the Cat,

and nonchalantly taxed herself not a bit.

The Parrot went over all the things he would say,

when released from the confines, they were;

he’d many a fine word,

that at odd times he had heard,

that would embarrass a mangy old cur.


However, Cat was soft,

and began to purr,

so Parrot lay down beside her;

and, soon, they were softly snoring,

happily, a thing upon which the both of them could concur.

Bee Kind

It isn’t difficult to be kind

to bee kind,

and you really don’t

have to be cruel

to gruel;

or leave a friend behind

when they are unable to find

a spring with which to unwind;

and many a worm will turn

from doing evil

to a passing weevil;

it’s not hard

to discard

the loyalty card

when it’s full to bursting,

in return for a Grecian urn,

if you are owed two,

or none at all

by a tall nun.

So, be kind,

and bee kind

will bee fine.