Barnaby, the BananaBee
was the first of his kind
in history.
Never before,
upon any shore,
had a BananaBee like Barnaby
been seen.
By the Book (sic)
By the Book (sic)
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Monthly Archives: July 2021
King of the Bees
I
am
The King of the Bees!
You might not have heard a lot about me,
I’m not a well known bee;
but, on my throne,
I
alone…
am alone.
That’s the problem, you see;
I ‘am’ a mythological bee,
consigned to history,
as a legend,
a myth (not a moth, a myth)
a marvellous creature
that never existed.
Which is why
I have hereby enlisted
the majorly modern media medium
of…
Poetry!
to establish my existence.
And, by avid persistence,
I shall regain my reign
as the leader of BeeKind.
Soon, my friends,
you will find
the Queen Bee
relegated
to a footnote in the mystery
of ancient Bee history.
.
‘KingBee, King of the Bees!’
.
“Your Majesty, if you please.”
100m Butterfly
I went to the Olympics,
in search of this very long (and rare) species;
but, like all the other Lepidopterists there,
was sadly disappointed to find
that I had been blind
to the reality of the term.
Anyway, I’m off now to guess
the age of the dress event.
‘Bee Longing’ & ‘Bee Long’
Bee Longing’
.
I long to see
the bee
in Nature
living naturally,
without the threats
that seem to be
ever more a reality.
—//—
‘Bee Long’
.
Weighing in at over three metric pounds,
and reaching lengths of up to twenty-seven inches
is it any wonder
that the breeding of the Ground Bee
(with its short, stubby wings)
hasn’t really taken off.
A weekend Haiku (in advance)
A weekend Haiku
seems a thing that I can do,
and when done… enjoy!
Negger say ‘Raggit on a Goat!’
You know you want to;
gut it shouldn’t gee done;
your goat nay sink,
cacksize into the drink;
and all gecause
you said ‘Raggit’
on a goat.
And then there were one
We started off with ten,
lost one to a hungry hen –
that left nine.
Nine became eight,
when the weight of a five-bar gate
fell with what could be termed ‘a considerable hate.
One went to Heaven
(or Hell),
when thrown into a well –
leaving seven.
One was buried under some four million Lego bricks,
leading to a construct of six – nerves were beginning to tense by this time.
One drowned in a sink,
another caught fire in a freezer;
those left were beginning to think
of the danger when using a small lemon squeezer.
Four remained.
One of which was ordained,
by being strangled with a freshly-starched
lapdog collar –
you should have heard them holler.
Of the three left,
one poor soul was savagely eaten by ferrets,;
and then there was the electrified knife,
which removed one of his life –
whilst cutting a loaf –
(pre-sliced bread certainly does have its merits)
And then there were one.
My son, Noah.
My son, Noah,
is building a boat…
I wish he’d get a proper job,
to keep this family afloat.
.
My son Noah,
Is predicting some rain;
and he’s saving up for that rainy day,
he’s being such a pain.
.
And, now, he want’s a puppy –
in fact he’s wanting two.
He’s never wanted a pet before,
what is a parent to do.
.
And then he says he wants to go to sea,
to sail the ocean blue,
but we reckon he’ll be seasick,
before he’s left the quay.
.
Our son, Noah,
is building a boat,
and it’s gonna be a big one,
judging by the cheque that I just wrote.
The Parrot and the Cat
Parrot and Cat
sat still upon the mat,
that they ‘had’ been told to stay on ;
Parrot had grumbled about it,
Cat had just relaxed,
‘It is what it is.’ said the Cat,
and nonchalantly taxed herself not a bit.
The Parrot went over all the things he would say,
when released from the confines, they were;
he’d many a fine word,
that at odd times he had heard,
that would embarrass a mangy old cur.
.
However, Cat was soft,
and began to purr,
so Parrot lay down beside her;
and, soon, they were softly snoring,
happily, a thing upon which the both of them could concur.
Bee Kind
It isn’t difficult to be kind
to bee kind,
and you really don’t
have to be cruel
to gruel;
or leave a friend behind
when they are unable to find
a spring with which to unwind;
and many a worm will turn
from doing evil
to a passing weevil;
it’s not hard
to discard
the loyalty card
when it’s full to bursting,
in return for a Grecian urn,
if you are owed two,
or none at all
by a tall nun.
So, be kind,
and bee kind
will bee fine.
Graeme Sandford 