I’m too young to be the Bard;
I’m too old to be the Bard;
have been barred from being the Bard –
‘I cannot be barred
from being the Bard!’ –
why is the achieving of Barddom so hard?
I’d make a great Bard;
and all of my Bardly words
would be Bardly Written,
and wouldn’t be too hard
with me you’d all be smitten,
I’d make a wonderful Bard,
a dutiful Bard,
really quite a beautiful Bard? – No, indeed.
I’d be a Bard the world could hear
and rejoice at all my spoutings;
I’d up the ante and top the crop,
outdoing other Bard’s pale outings;
I’d go down in history
as the No. 1 Bard,
with the mystery of my wizardry
it can’t be hard.