“Why Can’t I Be The Bard?”

I’m too young to be the Bard;

I’m too old to be the Bard;

have been barred from being the Bard –

‘I cannot be barred

from being the Bard!’ –

why is the achieving of Barddom so hard?

Would ‘me’

they

discard?

I’d make a great Bard;

and all of my Bardly words

would be Bardly Written,

and wouldn’t be too hard

to read;

with me you’d all be smitten,

I’d make a wonderful Bard,

a dutiful Bard,

really quite a beautiful Bard? – No, indeed.

I’d be a Bard the world could hear

and rejoice at all my spoutings;

I’d up the ante and top the crop,

outdoing other Bard’s pale outings;

I’d go down in history

as the No. 1 Bard,

with the mystery of my wizardry

at Barding…

it can’t be hard.

Can it?