“Sex Poem”

“Sex Poem”

Umm. I can’t, actually, read you this poem

for fear of offending

it’s very graphic…

there might be a hint of homoerotica

and a slice of sensuous sapphic

… but, it does have a happy ending.

anyway, I have decided, in my wisdom,

to read it to you

Sex is Anglo-Saxon for Saxon;

so there is Essex, where the East Saxons lived;

Wessex, where the West Saxons lived: Middlesex, where the Middle Saxons lived: and Sussex, where the South Saxons lived -although there were so many South Saxons that they split it into two, giving us the West South Saxons and the East South Saxons – there used to be some North Saxons, who lived in Nosex, but, strangely, they died our a long time ago – and then there were the Saxons of Kent – the Cantii.

The British who had inhabited Britain before the Saxons arrived to name all the areas, were pushed over to Wales and Cornwall (now known as Blue Whales and Cakewalk).

There was a young Saxon from Kent

who came back from wherever he went

until one day

he stayed away

as all of his money was spent.

A Limerick, which is a place in Ireland,

perhaps it should be given a sixth line and called a Canterbury.

… and he’d given up travel for Lent.

You can’t get much happier than a Canterbury, can you?

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