Monthly Archives: April 2019


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The Last Day of April

The Last Day of April

Like the first,

the last day of April

is a curious one.

They both bookend all the other days,

yet one is welcoming them,

whilst the other bids them a find ‘adieu!’

You, may not realise

that April held such a surprise

as it did –

it may have been carefully hid.

Or it might have been a month

of no newsworthy events at all –


Call it what you will (still ‘April’ methinks)

April has been one that we will remember

long after…


has gone.

Meanwhile, on Radio Radford… @RadioRadford

Meanwhile, on Radio Radford… @RadioRadford

“Hi! I’m Miles, from Anywhere.”

“And what do you want from me? Directions?”

“No! I’m Miles Ashton, from – I called earlier, and spoke to… an ‘Amanda Lifeboats?’ “

“Ah, yes; that was me – I conveniently, for the purposes of this sketch, seem to have forgotten.”

“That’s right! That’s exactly what is says here on my script.”


“Just there – below the ‘Amanda Lifeboats’ section.”

“Ah, yes, there it is. So, he continues, what can I do for you, Miles from Anywhere, on this cold and lonely highway, nowhere at all near a blue hotel in California, dreaming of a white Christmas?”

“Could you play ‘Star-Trekkin’ ‘ by The Firm – it’s for my cousin Jack, he’s a Cornish astronaut.”

“A Cornish astronaut? There’s no such thing!”

“That’s okay, Cousin Jack is imaginary, too.”

“Right? Oh, well; here ‘is’ ‘Star Trekkin’ ‘ by The Firm. And Miles…?


“It’s time for you to boldly go. Bye!”


I may be considered a ‘comedy’ poet.

I may be considered a ‘comedy’ poet.

I may be considered a ‘comedy’ poet,

with a quirky style;

because, I am


an all-know-it;

and I try to write poems

that make people smile,

or laugh.


The day of the giraffe tea party had finally arrived,

‘all’ the giraffes were gathered

in the Village Hall;

the veritably hardened of the drinkers

had gathered in the corner by the largest urns,

and they were necking down hot lapsang souchong by the bucketful

and quoting Robbie Burns.

But, some matters ‘are’ serious;

some issues are contentious,

or hot –

potatoes, for example, are not.

Unless you consider Climate Change a hot potato;

or global warming; insensitive intensive farming;

these issues are alarming.

The truth be told,

I am just one poet

doing what he does,

in his own silly way;

but that doesn’t mean I don’t care

about the serious things.

April The Twenty-Ninth

April The Twenty-Ninth

April The Twenty-Ninth

arrived with a plomb.

I was a lert;

others were, variously,

a droit, a fraid, or a miable.

Disregarding all that,

April The Twenty-Ninth was,

variously, wet, dry, stormy, calm,

an irritant, a balm,

hot, cold, young, old

and liable to amuse, confuse

and leave us all wondering how and why

a day like this could call itself anything other

than a day of ease…

or bother.

April The Twenty-Eighth

April The Twenty-Eighth

April The Twenty-Eighth

has been a day.

too far.

We drove in the car;

stopped off at a bar;

listened to Eleventh Earl of Mar

(by Genesis);

invented Radar (again);

travelled much too far;

drank a pint of cider vinegar from a jam jar;

boxed up some shopping in a Spar(

relayed our local road surface

in two-dimensional tar;

relocated to Zanzibar;

and then walked back to England

for a cup of char.

So, nothing out of the unusual.

The Reverend Green

The Reverend Green

The Reverend Green

was last seen

upon Lincoln Green’s

Bowling Green.

“XP” #SoCS @LindaGHill

“XP” #SoCS @LindaGHill

See Here For Linda’s Site

“Xpialidocious!” I waved my wand and the whole of the internet disappeared.

“How are you going to put it back together again?” queried Alice.

“Well…” I floundered. “Perhaps I can Google it?”

“Numpty!” said Alice.

The world had just become a quieter place.

Alice and I lived happily together until the unexpected storm blew our house down – and us with it.

April The Twenty-Seventh

April The Twenty-Seventh

April the Twenty-Seventh

arrived with a fanfare (or funfair)

of trumpets;

followed by tea and crumpets;

and, lastly, a soupçon of something sweet – just to keep it neat.

She Sells Seagull Snaps

She Sells Seagull Snaps

She sells seagull snaps beside the sea;

she tried to sell a seagull snap to me…