#SoCS Critic(al) – Critical Al, the Analytical Pal.
Al was a Critic of the Financial Times;
dodgy rhymes and vitamin pills;
Al wasn’t political, and only analytical
when there was a Thursday
or a Tuesday in the week.
All didn’t seek anonymity,
he just said what he thought
And thought what he said
was to be underlined red.
Al didn’t compromise,
criticising birds and flys,
other people’s alibis, and gingerbread –
mostly in a large and cursive font,
as was his wont.
Al was Al C O’Holic,
from when he used to drink,
but he’d given up the Guinness,
for a herbal lemon mead – at three pounds a shot,
he never drank a lot.
Al was the man who said that up was down,
but, would probably be back up,
as he was ushered out of town;
he thought black was too dull,
there were too many trams in Hull,
though he’d never ever been there – the tram there was actually full
ad so he’d gone to Gateshead instead.
He dissed all of the wallpaper
that William Morris ever made,
and though Dandelion without Burdock would never make the grade.
Apart from his critical ways,
Al liked to invest in Porcupines,
Eagle-tops and Jays –
never earning much,
but laughing at the days
when all the people could say was:
‘There goes Al and his critical ways!’