Monthly Archives: October 2018

In the Greenhouse.

In the Greenhouse.

In the green house

there is something growing

and I have no way of knowing

the names of the things

that are growing

in the green house

I’ve never known the names of things;

things that grow,

things with wings,

and things ‘without’ wings –

which, I think, just about covers them all.

Syd and Harry.

Syd and Harry.

“Let’s play Sardines!” said Syd.

“Don’t be a Pilchard, Syd!” said Harry. “You know the trouble we had the last time we played it.”

Syd looked glum. “I know; but, can’t we put it to a vote, Harry?” he asked.

“Sure!” said Harry. “Okay, Everybody! Hands up who wants to play ‘Sardines’!“

Not a hand went up.

“See, Syd?” Said Harry. “Nobody wants to play Sardines.”

Syd looked even glummer.

They all carried on with their game of kiss-chase.

Sometime later, Syd caught up with Harry, and with a quizzical look, he said: “Harry? Fish don’t have hands!”

Harry smiled. “True, Syd; but, I ask you this, where do fish fingers come from?”

Harry swam off to the other end of the aquarium, bubbling with laughter.

Syd huddled in his corner, slowly mulling over one of life’s big questions.



I was walking along

looking at the sky

as I do

when I saw a cloud,

a cloud in the shape

… of a cloud.

Not in the shape of a bird

or a penguin

(which is also a bird)

although there were a few of them flying around

(birds, not penguins)

but cloud-shaped;

then there was another

and another

all similar

but different

in their own cloudy way.

And I thought upon the clouds

then wrote this.

“Ain’t no easy way to write a Haiku!”

“Ain’t no easy way to write a Haiku!”

Seventeen words

In three syllables

how hard is that?

Ah! Not that easy

Perhaps I need to practice

or I’ll get it wrong.

Seventeen Syllables?

I made a Rookie error

In my adding up.

Okay, you may laugh!

Not trying to be funny,

just writing Haiku.

What? About ‘Nature’?

The Haiku speaks of ‘Nature’?

Birds, trees, lakes and stuff?

So all mine are wrong?

They are more like ‘Sen-r-yu?

Like ‘bad’ Sen-r-yu?

Well here goes nothing:

The Sun rises in the East

and we give our praise.

Better? Well, thank you.

If only I could practice?

I’ll think about it.

Random Words (speak them in a random way)

Random Words

It has come to our attention

that a problem needs a mention

and maybe here and now

is the time we should say how

we think that you could fix it

even if it isn’t broken;

still, it could be mended

to be as good lord God intended

if he exists as spoken

in the words of the ‘Good’ book;

here, take a look…

Pages four hundred seven through eleven

where it tells about the stuff

that if says is most important,

memorise this you’ll get to Heaven

or somewhere else

that’s cold an damp

has one dull lamp

and a mattress.

A Cornish Anthem

A Cornish Anthem

This land

is our land

our Cornwall

our home.

This land

is our land

so leave it


Saintly Places (In Cornwall)

Saintly Places (In Cornwall)

As I was going to St. Ives

I met a cat

with seven lives…


As I was going to St. Ives

(Pronounced ‘Eves’)

I met a man

who tried to sell me fallen leaves.

I told him that I

Would just not buy

his sob story

and so he left me high

and dry-eyed.

As I was


to St. Just,

I had to go there

had to


have been about half way there, when

I remembered

I’d been there before;

so, I just didn’t go there once again.

As I was going to St. Mawes

I swotted up on local laws

And found that I

should wear a tie

if ever I should sing a lullaby…

upon a tandem;

that law to me seemed quite random.

As I was going to St. Austell

or as locals say ‘Off to Stozzke!’

for a nozzle for my can

because I am a watering man,

It rained upon my open plan.

As I was going to St. Aggie’s

I met an abrupt lack of a rhyme…

that sort of thing

happens to me

from time to time.

I didn’t bother with St. Erth

and their dubious tale

of a Virgin Berth;

I didn’t even have a boat –

so needed nowhere for it to float.

Saintly places still I have to visit

St. Pinnock

St. Neots, is it?

St. Teath

St. Wenn

and all the rest

I’ll go to them all one day

and maybe I will wear a vest.

Save It!

Save it!

Save the Marmoset

Save the Bear

Save the Dolphin

Does no one care?

Save the Rain Forest

Save the ice

Save the Dodo?

That would have been nice!

Save the planet before it’s too late

It’s people, you know,

That got it into this state.

It’s gone from a paradise

To a place full of hate…

So, save this planet


Staring at the Sun

Staring at the Sun

I was staring at the Sun


it never blinked

it thinked

or, should I say

it thought

I know I ought

but don’t


can’t make me

what I’m not.

Anyway, the Sun

is hot

when it comes to heat

it has a lot.

And it never blinks

is what I thinks.

A One-Legged Stool

A One-Legged Stool

A one-legged stool

a one-legged stool

I fell right off of a one-legged stool;

It’s easy your balance to keep

until you fall asleep

and then you’ll feel a fool

as you fall off

of a one-legged stool.