So, just on the vision of this front cover would you buy the book?

Or would you ask for more information?

Would you want to read an extract?

Like this:

My task is to create a device for the safe eating of pasties (other food-stuffs are available) in Seagull-occupied areas.

If only I was an inventor…

And not a writer.


A hood

Might be good

With an area covered

Safe from attack

From the front

And the back.

With a space for the pastie to be held;

Like those masks

Of those people that weld;

But, with a little more space

For the pasty to face

One’s face.

Perhaps with a shelf inside

To rest the pasty

Between bites;

And maybe a light

For eating pasties at night.

What about a plastic Eagle

Perched upon the crown?

Seeing one of those might

Cause the seagull to think twice

About swooping down.

A Golden Eagle

With flapping wings

That you could operate

With carefully positioned strings.

And mirrors like you get on a Mod’s Lambretta

To allow for approaching seabird vigilance.

Thinking along these lines

Makes me feel better

That the ‘gulls can be deterred;

They won’t beat my Super-Gull-Proof Helmet;

They’re not that clever a bird…

Are they?


7 responses to “Swoop!

  1. Is that a swoop? Or a lift-off? With the word swoop I envision a peregrine falcon, wings back …
    I like your poetry, but your bird needs to be more menacing – the seagull should be looking down, beady-eyed, at the [unseen] chip, ready to dive in, ready to fight off all the other combatants, ready to die for a chance at … the chip!
    my opinion only, and it’s not worth much.

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