“Ding-Dong! The Gig’s Tonight!”

“Ding-Dong! The Gig’s Tonight.”

He comes from somewhere over the Tamar;

He’s followed the Westerly road;

To see the wizened folk of old Kernow.

“Have a heart!” some cried.

“What a nerve!” others criticised.

“It’s a no-brainer!” Jane and I applied

For tickets to see

The Wonderful Wizard of Odds.

“Come out, come out! People of Cornwall;

Be ye Mayor, Coronor, Or Munchkin’ on your pasty –

Come and see the legend

That we do call ‘Matt Harvey’”

I first met Matt

In the company of leeks;

His salad days,

When he was green;

Since then, I’ve followed from afar

Where he has been.

Almost saw him in Totnes –

But, never did – I guess, too far?

Thought I saw him on a bus;

But it was a looky-likey – what a fuss.

Heard him on the BBC;

Saturday Live,

And doing Wimbledon poetry ‘Fifteen-Love!’

Followed Matt on media then;

Not stalking him, as if, and when?

Now, at last he’s within reach,

His self and poems come to teach

The tiny folk of Munchin’ Pasty Land

Who are looking forward to an evening grand.


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