A little visit from the Grammar Police.

“The milky bards are upon me!” I announced, to no one in particular.

The room looked at me, aslant, suspiciously; the people in the room left any such interaction well alone.

I removed my cowboy hat, round-rimmed thick-lensed glasses and sat back down.

“This town ain’t big enough for the both of us! And I ain’t gonna leave!” There you go, that should ruffle a few feathers – even if only amongst the Grammar Police.

And, soon enough, a Grammar Police Constable was heading my way.

“Now, listen to me, sunshine; it is: ‘this town ‘is not’ big enough for the both of you, and you ‘are not’ going to leave.’ Am I making myself clear? he spoke with all the rigid inflexibility of an intransitive verb – whatever one of those is.

“Yes, Officer – with clarity. I shall not, in the future, under any conditional pronoun, deviate from the rules as stipulated and enforced by your kind selves in the Grammar Police Force.” I may (or I may not) have been holding my fingers crossed behind my back. I was.

“Good!” Now, would you kindly allow these good people a little quiet in which to consider the appropriate response to a question put to them in the second person interrogative.”

I paused, even though I knew this one. “I shall conform to the norm.” A poet’s dictum, if ever there was one.

“We shall be watching you, Sunshine.” he growled.

‘Mr. Sunshine, if you please!’ I almost said. However, ‘stupid’ not being my middle name, I refrained from comment.

Time to knuckle down to my lessons.

‘The first person plural is only to be used…’ it was going to be a long, and boring, day.


2 responses to “A little visit from the Grammar Police.

  1. Hope their not comming for me next, in my case it would be the swat team that comes after my grammar.
    Nice storry Mr…..you’ve changed your name so many times by now(the crazy one now)that I will just call you the G.man

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