SD Phone rings twice and is answered. We hear one side of a conversation.
SFX Phone rings twice.
SFX Phone being picked up.
Assistant. Hello! Literary Provisions Limited, how may I help you.
SD slight pause listening to caller.
Assnt: Oh, Hello, Mr. Lewis. Your order? What seems to be wrong with it?
SD pause whilst listening to Mr. Lewis.
Assnt: Oh, I appreciate that we have substituted one of your items; but, we’ve had a bit of a rush of orders upon that line-
SD pause listening.
Assnt: Well, the rest of the order was okay, wasn’t it?
SD pause again.
Assnt: Well two out of three isn’t too bad – and we did give you a similar item as a replacement.
Assnt: Well, I know it wasn’t ‘actually’ a ‘witch’ as such; but, it was close.
Assnt (subdued): Yes. I can honestly say that a ‘watch’ is ‘not’ a witch, in any way, shape or form. But, you are happy with the Lino and the Wardrobe?
Assnt: You didn’t want ‘Lino?’ Well, you ordered Lino – it says so here on your order.
Assnt: A ‘Lion?’ Well, that’s a bit out of our league, Mr. Lewis. Lino we can deliver – as we did – but, a ‘Lion’ that’s going to take a bit of time and effort to arrange – and, I’m not to sure that we are allowed to supply wild animals on demand; I think there’s probably a law about it…
SD longer pause.
Assnt: Yes, Mr. Lewis, I can see that we have only achieved on one of the three items – not so good – I shall get the manager to call you to discuss your issues.
Assnt: Yes, Mr. Lewis, I quite agree. However, you can spend the time until my manager calls putting your wardrobe together.
Assnt: Oh, It wasn’t a ‘wardrobe’ you wanted? you wanted a chest of drawers? Well, I suggest you discuss this with my manager.
Assnt: I appreciate that, Mr. Lewis. And, I ‘do’ apologise – normally we ‘do’ provide a much better service. I think it’s the new computers.
Assnt: ‘Computers!’ We’re still not used to the ordering system protocols.
Assnt: I quite agree. Thank you for being so patient with me, Mr. Lewis. Mr. Tolkien will call you back within the hour. Good bye.
Phone is put down.