Niamh: In 50 yards
You will be
12,000 steps away from where you were heading for.
Me: What? I’m 12,000 steps away? I was only 6,000 steps away when I started!
Niamh: Well, now that you’ve unmuted me, You can hear me telling you that you are going the wrong way.
Me: So, I’d better turn around and head back that a ways?
Niamh: Which a ways?
Me (pointing): That a ways.
Niamh: Well, If you head toward ‘that’ church spire upon ‘that’ church, then you will be no more than a thousand steps away from your destination when you reach it.
Me: Thanks, Niamh. I shall set out with a spring in my step and a-
Niamh: -stone in your shoe?
Me: Thank you, Niamh. You don’t happen to know Siri, do you?
Niamh: Why, yes – she and I went to the same convent school.
Me: Well, that would explain a lot of things.
Niamh: At the next roundabout take the fourth turning on the right.
Me: Thanks, Niamh, I don’t know where I’d be without you.
Niamh (to self): Even more of a loser.
Niamh: I said ‘pleased to help you, sir’.
Me: Great. Let’s get on to that roundabout.
Niamh (to self): And never ever get off again.