That I do not swear;
Neither in my best birthday suit
Nor in my underwear.
Not on a Sunday in church;
And never on a Friday when purchasing perch
At the fishmonger’s stall.
I keep cleanliness next to godliness
In my list of ‘learnt’ words;
Which consists of seven;
I’ll never get to Heaven –
No, I know I never will.
I speak with all politeness
And treat everyone with R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
Which ‘is’ very ‘respectful’ of me.
But, once I swore
That I would never swear again;
Having sworn the once;
“I will swear no more!” I said;
And, hopefully, I will keep to this
Unless all sorts of things do go amiss.