Please Press ‘Option…’

Please follow ‘all’ instructions

Please press ‘Option 1’
If you wish for tidings of comfort and joy.
Please press ‘Option 2’
If you are just a boy, giving it all away.
Please press ‘Option 3’
If you have clowns to the left of you, and jokers to the right.
Please press ‘Option 4’
If you are once, twice, or three times a lady.
Please press ‘Option 5’
If it’s all about that bass, about that bass – and not about the treble.
Please press ‘Option 6’
If you wish to hear Options 1 thru 6 again.
Please hold if you wish to envisage the possibility of slipping into a coma.
Your call is important to you.
Thank you for wasting your life phoning this number, and remember to ‘Have a nice day!’

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