With My Inventor’s Hat On…


My task is to create a device for the safe eating of pasties in Seagull-occupied areas.
If only I was an inventor…
And not a writer.
Well, here goes…
A hood

Might be good

With an area covered

Safe from attack

From the front

And the back.
With a space for the pastie to be held; 

Like those masks

Of those people that weld;

But, with a little more space

For the pasty to face

One’s face.
Perhaps with a shelf inside

To rest the pasty

Between bites;

And maybe a light

For eating pasties at night.
What about a plastic Eagle

Perched upon the crown?

Seeing one of those might

Cause the seagull to think twice

About swooping down.
A Golden Eagle

With flapping wings

That you could operate

With carefully positioned strings.

And mirrors like you get on a Mod’s Lambretta

To allow for approaching seabird vigilance.
Thinking along these lines

Makes me feel better

That the ‘gulls can be deterred;

They won’t beat my Super-Gull-Proof Helmet;

They’re not that clever a bird…

Are they?

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