Monthly Archives: June 2017

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead!”

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead!”
I’m saving them all up

All those sleepless nights

On account –

Of which I have lost count.
Which shouldn’t mean that the one life you live once is one full of yawning and bleary-eyes.
Pace yourself!
It’s a marathon, not a sprint. And, if there is a hint of laziness when it comes to ‘Party, party, party!!!!’

It may just be because

I am ‘not’ a party animal

Rather than my lust for life.


Pretzel Logic

What is Pretzel Logic?
I know it’s the title of an album from the 70’s by the American group Steely Dan, but what does it actually mean.
I ask this owing to the ‘fact’ that I have just (recently) partaken of some chocolate-coated pretzels (which are rather smaller than your everyday, household, horseshoe sized variety) which were rather delish. 
And by ‘fact’ I mean that ‘I’ know it happened – and it is not a point that needs verification anyway.

Can anybody enlighten me?

“What’s it all about, Alfafa?”


Or a flat battery

Will get you nowhere

Or everywhere – 

I am never sure which.
And, furthermore,

If you need to go to the cattery…

I presume you have a cat –

Or want one.
It has come to my inattention quite recently

That I have unnoticed

Some things

And unobserved others;

This has lead to little

Or no noticeable difference;

Therefore, I would like to apologise for this

And hope that any effects

Not felt by this deplorable lack (upon my part)

Are soon indissipated

By a passing thought

That I may (or may not)

Have once had (or not).
For an explanation of the above

Please enclose a signed and addressed envelope

And send it somewhere.

Wait 28 days for receipt of the envelope

A further 28 days for your ‘calm-down’ or ‘cool down’.
If after a further 28 days

You have heard nothing

Be not surprised

As surprises are potentially harmful.
Please see over for your options to continue this journey.
We thank you for travelling with us and look forward to the future.

My name is…

“Hi, my name is Gino!”

“No, I’m Gino.

And so is my friend, Gino!”

“Anyway, now that we have been introduced

How could you even think about eating us?

We are from a long line of Ginos;

Stretching back a long, long time

How long? Nobody knows!

But, we would all like to live, 

Meet the Ginas of our dreams,

And raise our gingerbread families.

Not much to ask, is it?






All Ginos: Have a nice day!

Never say ‘rabbit’ in a boat.

Never say ‘rabbit’ in a boat;

That is ‘unless’ the boat in question is not afloat

In which case it’s best not to anyway.

Nor ‘pig’

Never say ‘pig’ in a boat neither.

For both of these animals are said to be unlucky to be mentioned when afloat,

In a boat.

If thou shouldst be travelling with either of the aforementioned animals quoted above

Please refer to them as ‘bunny’ and ‘wiggy’

And no harm shall come to the floating craft

That you are upon.

‘Sheep’ is possibly also thought to be unlucky to converse about on a boat,

When afloat;

And a ‘cow’ is probably worse.

I have heard no mention of any problems with camels or giraffes;

But, they, too, would (in all likelihood)

Do the vessel of your sailing

No good.

So, to recap,

Best not to talk or comment upon any livestock


You are in dry dock.

4 out of your 5-a-day fruits don’t rhyme!

Lemon and Lime

Never rhyme;

Neither do Apples and Pears –

Even when you ‘are’ 

Half way up the stairs.

4 out of your 5-a-day don’t rhyme!

Lemon and Lime

Never rhyme;

Neither do Apples and Pears –

Even when you ‘are’ 

Half way up the stairs.