Monthly Archives: June 2017

Almost, but not quite.

Gino Ginorelli

Stayed in and watched the telly

Even though the room was smelly

He said his life was ‘fun’.
His Italiano ‘Mama’

Surveyed his lack of drama

And sighed, the way that Italiano Mama’s do;

And cooked Gino up in a nice bowl of her ragu.

NB adding the word ‘in’ to the last line made a big difference to the tone of this piece. G:)

We bought into business – a water-powered paper mill.
Successful at first, we produced stacks and stacks of paper – until, finally, everybody had ‘all’ the paper that they needed. There was now no call for any more paper.
So we converted our business into a paper-powered water mill.
There is always a need for water.

(After a few years)
Paper is now a thing of the past.
And so our business is at an end.
We have no more paper with which to power our mill.
And, so, no more water. 
We are at an end.

Lines criss cross the map

And we take a nap

Intending to be fresher than daisies when we arrive.

The AirCon is on

And the seats are softer than a very soft thing indeed – of both these things we had a need.

Through valleys and tunnels,

Across plains and through villages, towns and cites we go,

Heading for Roma

“Oh, sol e mio!”

For a molto choice of gelato.
In Rome a plot was afoot…
NB you can see from the photo above that 3 people were photo-bombing Jane’s picture. They were Jane’s daughter, Cesca, Cesca’s husband, Scott, and Jane’s son, Ryan. They had flown to Rome for Jane’s birthday surprise – and surprise it was. G:)

In sunny Italy

In the dark of the night

I am out in the rain

Listening to the lightning flashes

And watching the thunder claps.

The canopy sheltering me is keeping me dry;

But, I am cooled by the freshness in the air.

Sorrento has been wanting the rain for about two months now

And maybe this nighttime downpour will feed the oranges

And the lemons that grow so abundantly here;

Also the olives maturing nicely in the groves to make their extra virgin oil.

The city carries on below me; and will, no doubt, be Sorrento as usual in the morning.

Jane joins me and the evening is complete.

Missing Punschlines and Punschlines missing their feedlines.
“…However, they settled out of court!”
Maybe something along the lines of ‘Oil’ and ‘Water’ in dispute over their relationship in a legal context and not being able to get a judgment… however, they settled out of court!

Thirty Seven

Thousand!

Feet.

That’s approximately

Eighteen, thousand and fifty people

Give or take a few

(Probably give a few).

That’s a lot of smelly socks and biggish shoes.

You do the Math(ematics).

50 ways to get to Italy from London (Alphabetically)
By…
Aeroplane

Balloon

Banana-Boat

Barge

Bicycle

Boat

Bus

Camel (or Camel Train)

Canoe

Car

Charabanc

Coach

Combine Harvester

Dog-Sled

Go-Kart

Gondola (perhaps returning one to Venice)

Horse

Hovercraft

Ice-Breaker

Ice-Skates

Jet-Pack

Milk-Float

Motability Scooter

Motorised Sit-Upon Lawnmower

Oil Tanker

Pedaloe

Pogo Stick

Pony

Quad Bike

Rocket

Roller Skates

Segue

Shank’s Pony

Shopping Trolley

Skiff

Skis

Skateboard

Sled

Space-Hopper

Stilts

Submarine

Tandem

Tank

Taxi

Tea-Trolley

Tractor

Train

Tram

Tricycle

Wing-Walking

Yacht
And a few that in the end will get you nowhere quickly.
A seat on a train on the Circle Line of the London Underground.
A pod upon the London Eye
A Lift
A Baggage Carousel
A Bouncy Castle
A Crane
A Ferris Wheel
Any Funicular Railway
The Ghost Train
A Helter-Skelter
On a Rocking Horse
On a Roundabout / Carousel
On one end of a Seesaw
In a Tank (Fish)
Upon The Swings
A Trampoline
Abseiling down a building
Joining in a 10,000 Metres Race at a race track (other distances are available)
On a Pommel Horse
In some Revolving Doors
In a Clothes Horse

And a few non-starters

Lighthouse
Windmill
Space Station
In a Well

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead!”
I’m saving them all up

All those sleepless nights

On account –

Of which I have lost count.
YOLO! 
Which shouldn’t mean that the one life you live once is one full of yawning and bleary-eyes.
Pace yourself!
It’s a marathon, not a sprint. And, if there is a hint of laziness when it comes to ‘Party, party, party!!!!’

It may just be because

I am ‘not’ a party animal

Rather than my lust for life.

What is Pretzel Logic?
I know it’s the title of an album from the 70’s by the American group Steely Dan, but what does it actually mean.
I ask this owing to the ‘fact’ that I have just (recently) partaken of some chocolate-coated pretzels (which are rather smaller than your everyday, household, horseshoe sized variety) which were rather delish. 
And by ‘fact’ I mean that ‘I’ know it happened – and it is not a point that needs verification anyway.

Can anybody enlighten me?
G;)

Flattery

Or a flat battery

Will get you nowhere

Or everywhere – 

I am never sure which.
And, furthermore,

If you need to go to the cattery…

I presume you have a cat –

Or want one.
It has come to my inattention quite recently

That I have unnoticed

Some things

And unobserved others;

This has lead to little

Or no noticeable difference;

Therefore, I would like to apologise for this

And hope that any effects

Not felt by this deplorable lack (upon my part)

Are soon indissipated

By a passing thought

That I may (or may not)

Have once had (or not).
For an explanation of the above

Please enclose a signed and addressed envelope

And send it somewhere.

Wait 28 days for receipt of the envelope

A further 28 days for your ‘calm-down’ or ‘cool down’.
If after a further 28 days

You have heard nothing

Be not surprised

As surprises are potentially harmful.
Please see over for your options to continue this journey.
We thank you for travelling with us and look forward to the future.