A Cat named ‘Cat’ (a true story).


When Pandora married Erwin, she never dreamed of the sadness and the eventual madness that was soon to befall them both.
It started off quite happily; but, when, after three years of marriage there was no sign of a child to add to their family, Pandora took in a cat, and all manner of strangeness was destined to be unleashed.
Pandora seemingly transferred her affection from Irwin to the cat (which, intriguingly was never given a name) and Irwin became resentful towards the ‘feline foe’ – as Erwin often called him.
An impasse was then reached, where Pandora and the cat became aligned against Erwin and his strange ideas about life and continued existence. 
Erwin plotted. And, having formulated a fool-proof plan, he set the wheels in motion to rid himself of this ‘troublesome priest’? Which was another name that he called the cat.
Pandora had, meanwhile, found a box that she had lined with soft bedding for the cat. Erwin decided to use this box to get rid of ‘El Gatto’ (yet another name he used) and created an airtight lid that he could attach to the box, thus sealing the cat in.
It was a cruel plan and Erwin was not too proud (and just evil enough) to use it.
One day, whilst Pandora was out shopping for freshly-cured cat-nip, Erwin crept up on the box where ‘Cattle-Prod’ was sleeping. 

Quickly, before you could say ‘The Mexican cat tried on the Sombrero hat’, in Mexican, Erwin had popped the lid of the box in place and sealed it closed.
When Pandora returned,with her arms full of bunches of pungent cat-nip, she was surprised, nay, ‘bemused’, that the cat didn’t run to greet her, as was usual.
Checking the kitchen, then the lounge, for the cat, Pandora was stunned, nay ‘staggered’ to find that the bed box now had a lid on it. 

Pandora called out to Erwin “What have you done?” And Erwin replied 

“I’ve sorted out that Moggster for once and for all!”
Pandora tried to open the lid of the box; and, with a super-human effort managed to wrench the top right off. Whereupon all the evil-words that she knew flew out of her, and in Erwin’s direction. 
Pandora was almost too frightened to look into the box. But, she still had hope; and, maybe the cat was still alive. Was he? Or wasn’t he?
Whichever way it went, the Schr√∂dinger’s marriage did not last long after this event. 
And Pandora found herself a nice little flat where her new cat ‘Cattu’ could have its own box-room. 

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