A Conversation with Jane (or myself).


G Swaps a turnip for some books
G: Well, that’s a turnip for the books!
J: Really?
G: I think it works on so many levels.
J: Like a lift?
G: Oh, yes please; it’s always good to get a boost from being praised or supported by a fellow being.
J: An elevator, then.
G: Sorry?
J: Works on so many levels. Like a ‘lift’ or an ‘el-e-va-tor’.
G: Oh. 
J: Up until a few days ago you didn’t even know what a turnip was.
G: I knew it was a vegetable. Just got confused with small swedes and large turnips. Easy mistake to make.
J: Yes, and you made it. Doofus!
G: Do what?
J: You heard. 
G: I did; but, that doesn’t mean I understood.
J: A ‘doofus’ is a large vegetable with limited cognitive powers and a small amount of capability in any domestic situation.
G: It is?
J: Yes, you are. Doofus!
G: Oh. 
J: And what idiot would post a picture of Benedict Cumberbatch topless with my saying ‘No shirt, Sherlock’ as a punchline?
G: Well, at least I understood the premise for the pun. Somebody didn’t get it for ages – did they?
J: Yes, well, it was such a bad pun that it’s not surprising that I was just too clever to see how ‘punny’ it was.
G: ‘Too’ funny? ‘Too’ punny? I think that you have your wires crossed.
J: Along with my fingers and my eyes.
G: So why ‘did’ the Chicken cross the road?
J: It saw you approaching.
G: No. it was going to the gym to work on its pecks – and the gym was on the opposite side of the road.
J: Know any jokes? I know one. 
G: You do?
J: Yes. You.
G: Har-de-har-har.
J: Game, set and mismatch to me, I think.
J takes turnip and lobs it at G
J: Duck!
G: No, it’s a tur- ouch!

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