Monthly Archives: June 2016

OMK!

image

OMK!
Which is reverse CDO (as CDO is more organised OCD)
And more pleasing to the eye
Than OMG
To one like me.

At the Art House…

image

Support your local Art House
And, if you have them,
Your Tart House,
Your Cart House,
And your Finnish Andstart House;
They need your support
For without you
THEY WOULD COME TO NOUGHT!

What do you mean you haven’t got an Art House?
That there is only a Vape Shop
Where you used to stop
For Coffee and Cake
And a chat, and to take
The weight off your feet;
Where the people you’d meet
Would be happy to see you;
A place where you could be you;
A place that you thought
Would last forever…

… that is sad…

…to lose one of the best friends you ever had…

If only you had done a little more
When it was there…

Words. Just Words.

image

Possession is…
9/10ths of being possessed
With the other 1/10th added.

This you cannot deny
This you shouldn’t try
Neither to be possessed
Or to possess the unpossessed.

But, and here is a warning,
Always expect the unexpected
And doing so
You will then know
That anything else that happens
Is just coincidental.

Titian was no mathematician

image

Titian was no mathematician!
I can safely say that
As he has long been relegated to the long dead division
And Monet and Manet
Had very little money
And neither is funny
Any more
Since their humours
Have been subject
To decay for decades
And their actual individual personality fades
To be honest
Who can say
That they
Went to school with any of them?
I know I didn’t
And I am ancient.

I Read The News

This has nothing to do with any referendumbinity. # JustSaying

Graeme Sandford

image

I Read The News…

When I read the papers
I get the vapours
Though I don’t really know
What the vapours are.

The headlines are gory
And the content is gruesome
And every single story
Tells of someone who threw some

IEDs at a person like me.
It’s not that it happens everyday,
Everywhere; but, it’s front-page
Headline news; so,
Even though it’s rare
it must be as true

As eggs is eggs;
And I ‘could’ be wearing another man’s shoes.

View original post

In ‘and’ Out

image

I am in: sane, side, fantile, decisive, complete, soluble in water;

I am out: landish, side, of order, re, of my head;

I shall remain so, so leave me alone.

I shall leave the same way as I arrived.

I shall leave the remains where they shall hopefully remain

I shall leave the leaves beneath the trees

There are three camps in this issue:

The Ins, The Outs, and The Shaking It All Abouts

I shall remainder any copies of this posting that are left.

I remain
yours faithfully

Graeme Sandford

Tawdry Audrey Awdry

image

‘Tawdry Audrey Awdry’

The Reverent Awdry
Had a daughter, Audrey;
Audrey Awdry.

She was, you might say,
If you knew her,
A tad tawdry.

When she grew up she decided to change her name
As one would
If one was named Audrey Awdry.
And was called Tawdrey Audrey Awdry
Or T.A.A. for short.

She ummed and she aaahed
About what name she would choose
Before deciding upon the name Jessica
Little thinking that she would in time be called ‘Messy Jessie’
And when she met the man of her dreams…
It was only fate that he was named…

Laurence Hennesey

Thus giving rise to ‘Messy Jessie He-nessy!’

But, she was older
And had a good man by her side
And was able to live a long and happy life
With her husband and their daughter, Vanessa.

And so it began again.

Hot Scone Therapy

image

Recently, to relieve certain pains in my neck, I went for a hot scone massage therapy session.
Surprisingly, I had to attend the treatment in the local garden centre.
Three hours of treatment along with many drinks (to keep myself hydrated) later, my neck still hurts, but the scones were lovely, so light and crumbly.

A seemingly deep but actually somewhat meaningless series of words.

image

This deep and meaningless picture is courtesy of Pinterest.

There is no East
There is no West
North and South
Are of no interest;

Up and down
And in and out
Are only perspectives
Seen from a viewpoint;

Back and forth
And to and fro
Make no sense;

Whilst here and there
Could be anywhere
Or nowhere;

And give and take
Are just lost and found
When what comes round
Comes round.

All in all
It leaves little to be said
When words aren’t available;

And nothing can be done
To stop the hands of time
From moving on;

Which leaves the immutability of life unchanged in essence.

A Sheep Walked into a Baa…

image

A sheep walked into a baa

The baatender, a certain Mr. Shepherd, looked up. “Oi! Ewe! Get out! Your type are baad!”

The sheep looking sheepish said “I only wanted a drink of water and a packet of grass-seed flavour crisps, please.”

The baatender looked at the sheep and decided she could have the drink and snack to take away for the price of £25 and her coat.

The sheep reluctantly agreed.

Outside the sheep met another sheep and explained why she had no coat.

The second sheep listened disbelievingly, and then voiced the opinion that the first sheep had been fleeced.

image.jpeg