Free Chocolate! Right, now that I have your attention, here is a stream-of-consciousness story that I wrote from the initial ‘sign’ thought. I hope that you like it.

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“Unpopular things badly expressed in a totally inappropriate way.”

Read the sign.

I thought upon this for a while, then entered the shop.
There was little in the way of produce or ornamentation; the only furniture being a single chair and one of those tables that occasionally ‘was’ a table.

A bell rang in the distance (probably one of those activated by a customer’s footfall upon the welcoming mat, not that there was a welcoming mat here) and in just a few short seconds nothing happened. Then, a while after that, a door in the back wall (which I hadn’t noticed – as I tend not to notice walls, apart from when I did) opened, and an old man of indeterminate age entered the room.

“I’m not old!” he affirmed in a rheumy voice (spelt r.h.e.u.m.y. If you are listening to this and not reading it). He then walked slowly to the aforementioned chair and sat down perfunctorily (and with no fuss). “Excuse me, I’m not as young as I was yesterday.” he said, smilingly. “Nor, for that matter, as I was this morning. But, I am younger than I will be this afternoon.” And with that he stopped talking and fixed the bluest eyes that I have ever seen upon me.
“Do you want to buy those eyes?” he asked.

I considered this question. Then replied “Even though a spare pair of eyes would be useful to me if a set of bizarre circumstances were to occur, I think that maybe I will forego your offer, thank you.”

“Only two pounds each… or a fiver for the pair.” he offered.

“Oh, go on then.” I never could resist a bargain. “I’ll take them both.”

Crisp fiver exchanged, I went to take my leave of the shop.

“Don’t forget…” called the man “You have the eyes of a killer.”

I paused. “You didn’t say that before you sold them to me.”

“I never sold you the killer’s eyes. You were born with them.”

I nearly responded with a denial. But, a totally inappropriate thought crossed my mind. “The sign in the window? What does it mean?” I asked.

“It means little… or nothing… or lots… or something; I bought it off of a sign-salesman back in 1873; he never answered my questions about it.” he dismissed the sign and fixed an evil eye upon me. “Here, you can have this one for free.”

I left and never looked back; although I had plenty of eyes with which to do so.

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6 responses to “Free Chocolate! Right, now that I have your attention, here is a stream-of-consciousness story that I wrote from the initial ‘sign’ thought. I hope that you like it.

  1. And if you let me know where you live I shall send you a free chocolate voucher. G:)

  2. I live with you – now gimme chocolate! 🙂 x

  3. Where’s the chocolate? I don’t want eyes….just chocolate please😊

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