Monthly Archives: May 2016

As Pseudonyms Go – A Limerick Arrives.


A conker in search of some strength

Was dipped in vinegar for such a long length

Of time

For the rhyme

Far from sublime

By this plonker who writes under the pseudonym of Strinegar Venth.

A Nursery Rhyme?


The cake was in the counting house
Counting out the money
“Hey, thee!” said the king “it should be me; I suppose you think this Is funny?”
A rhetorical question
But, at capture’s suggestion
The cake did flee, it was time for tea, and he fancied bread and honey.

I Feinted Away


I am no sinner
And I’m no saint
I don’t know what I am
And I don’t know what I ain’t.
And grammatically speaking
My clarity’s feint
Is to step to the left
And step to the right.

straight down the middle?
One day, I might.

The Cake Song (feel free to suggest your fave cakes for subsequent verses)


I’m going to write a cake song

About all the cakes in the world

Well, all the ones that I can feasibly fit into a song

Starting with:

There’s Battenburg and Rock Cake
Victoria Sponge and Eccles Cake
Tea Cake, Seed Cake and a rich cake called Dundee
Then the Cake of Good Hope
The cleansing Cake of Clean Soap
And even Kendal Mint Cake
Which isn’t ******* Cake at all, according to Jani!

There’s Grinty Cake and Minty Cake
And even Captain Flinty Cake
(Although I may have made that one up)
There are Fairy Cakes and Hairy Cakes (do not eat those)
Cakes with icing topping them
And cakes with jam within
But, remember as you’re eating them
Every cakes a sin!



PS any suggestions for a chorus (at the mo it is just:


‘Cake, Cake, Cake, Cake,”


i’d love to hear them.


Thank you




In the Centre of the Garden


For Janey OneSock. G:)


In the centre of the garden
Where the baskets hang around
There are all sorts of everything
For planting in the ground
And all the things you need
To plant a tiny seed
Or a Begonia, Petunia
(And other nias, too)
Nasturtiums, Geraniums, of every hue of blue
“Geronimo!” you cry
“There’s a free plant, if I spend a score!”
So, off you go to try your best;
That’s why I love you, mon amour.

The Nerdy Well


The Nerdy Well

I drew up a plan
Then drew up a bucket
From the depths of the well
And there
In my bucket
Was a Nerdy
Well, well, well.

What is a Paradoxymoron?


Me: What is a paradoxymoron?

You: I am?

Me: Oh, howzat!

You: Not out!

Me: Bother

You: Thirteen for three at tea

Me: Whatever that means.

You: It’s to do with crocket.

Me: It is

You: No, it is not. I just said that to confuse you.

Me: It worked.

You: It always does.