Monthly Archives: December 2015

Citrus and honey bacon hock

Very yummy (PS may not be suitable for V-people) g:)


I got a bacon hock from my local farm shop for £1.12, so this is a very cheap meal.

Preparation and cooking time: Around 3 hours (but worth it)


One bacon hock
6 satsumas
1 lemon
Handful bay leaves
Handful cardamom pods
Handful rosemary
Black pepper
2 tbsp honey
Knob of butter
2 apples
Vegetables of choice

How I did it

Put bacon hock in a big pan with handsful of bay leaves, crushed cardamom pods and rosemary. Season with black pepper. I don’t add salt, as the hock is generally salty enough already.

Add sliced lemon and peeled satsumas (crush segments a little so juices flow freely).

Cover with water. Bring to boil, then simmer for 1 hr 30 mins.


Make yourself a pot of tea, or pour yourself a glass of wine, and relax for an hour.

Prepare vegetables of your choice.

When hock is ready, remove…

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#thehaikuofthebeast (#Beastiku)


Beastiku (Postcard 4) – Make a Wish!

Beastiku Postcard 4

“In the bowels of Hell

There is a wishing well’

It is thought ironic!”

Beastiku Logo 3

Beastiku (Postcard 3) – In Case of Fire…

Beastiku Postcard 3

“In the realm of Hades

There are three Fire Exits;

No-one knows where they are.”


Beastiku (Postcard 2) – The Haiku of the Beast


Beastiku Postcard 2

“When the new ones arrive

It is pleasing to see

Faces, when they see me!”

Beastiku (Postcard 1) – No Holiday


postcard-beast-iku 1

“It’s so hot here in Hell;

We are having such fun,

And we wish you were here.”


Beast-iku 1-2 by Graeme Sandford



Beast-iku 2

“Man goes in a fruit shop!”

That always makes me laugh;

I do get bored down here.”

Beast-iku 1

I knew you were alive;

I could hear you snoring;

Would you like a cuppa?


Boozy trifle



Continuing with the leftover coffee and walnut cake recipes…



3 slices of leftover coffee and walnut cake
1 pint vegetarian orange jelly
Generous lashings of sherry
1 pint low-fat thick custard
Extra thick double cream
Chocolate-coated coffee beans
Dark chocolate

How I did it

Bash up the coffee and walnut cake into chunks, soak in sherry and place in bottom of your chosen receptacle.

Add cooled jelly mix and pop in the fridge to set overnight.

Add a layer of cooled thick custard.

As the cream is already very thick, there’s no need to whisk it – just pop on top of the custard.

Grate dark chocolate over the top and throw on some chocolate-coated coffee beans.


Come back tomorrow for another delicious leftover coffee and walnut cake recipe.

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Truffles of Awesomeness

PS I suggested the coconut option. And they are yummy indeed. X


Yesterday’s leftover coffee and walnut cake creation is, as the title suggests, awesome. (My Dad used to hate people using ‘awesome’ in this manner, but hey ho – do not fear the truffles!)


These were very easy to make.


3 slices of leftover coffee and walnut cake
170g Toblerone (I won mine from a 25p tombola in Morrison’s car park, but you can source one from anywhere)
Sprinkly things or toppings*

How to make it

Bash up the cake into crumbs of passion
Melt the Toblerone in a bain-marie (I used a bowl in pan of hot water)
Mix well
Roll into balls
Sprinkle with sprinkly things
Pop in the fridge to set


Add a splash of rum, whisky, JD, liqueur to the mix for total decadence.

*Sprinkly things and toppings can include:

  • Icing sugar
  • Cocoa powder
  • Dessicated coconut
  • Melted chocolate

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Cake crumbs of loveliness

My beloved makes a marvellous creation – yummy it was. G:)


On Boxing Day, me and my beloved volunteered at our favourite café, The Art House.  It’s not only our fave because that’s where we met, but also because it allows us to be very silly and provides us with a platform for our creativity, be it performing poetry or busking.

The Art House is a not-for-profit CIC run by volunteers, serving deliciously scrumptious vegetarian food and is renowned for its awesome cake.

One of the perks of being a volunteer is the leftovers. We came home with a mahoosive coffee and walnut cake, past its best, but with only one slice gone from it (as well as a few other random slices).

Now, we like cake. We like cake a lot. But even I was overwhelmed by so much cake and, so, I had to think of creative ways to upcycle.

Here we have yesterday’s quest for nomliness –…

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An Aprés-Christmas Walk in the New Forest with Vega and Haiku



Walking in the forest
On a cold mid-winter’s day
Trudging through the undergrowth
Merrily on our way

With nary a soul to cross our path
And the silence of here around us
We trek along an unmapped route
That circumstance has found us.

Underfoot the ground is soft
And, in places, barely stable
And so ‘take care’ we must
To travel where ’tis able.

Soon, covered in mud up to the knees,
We settle to a rhythm
And through the glades
And wintry shades
We find a restful peace within them.

Aside us, a tree creaks
And we consider a falling
Though not today
With us in the way
It’s not our time for calling.

So, the world outside
Can run and hide
And we don’t seek to find it;
We’re happy here
With air so clear
And soon we are lost to mind it.

Goodwill to all


Wherever you are

Whomsoever you are

May goodwill be upon you

Take care – be safe

seasonal greetings

Graeme x


It’s all about Mimi!

imageI stand alone
I stand apart
So none may hear
My fever’d mind,
My beating heart;
For if they heard
A single word
Or sound of mine
They might an injury define
And, though I seem
To be ‘all’ there
I must admit
I am one sandwich short
Of a picnic fare.

I am a man…

imageSome days I am a man with a plan
Others, a man with a flan
Once in a while I am a man with a frying pan
In the summer I am a man with a partial tan
Every so often I consider myself to be a man with a life-time ban
Alternate Thursdays I try to be a man with a penchant for the Can-Can
Only the once, I found myself to be an also-ran
In another dimension in the future I am destined to be the seventh son of a seventh dan
I have never been (and never will be) the love child of Brian Blessed and Gloria Estefan
In the distant past I was almost there when the world began
I am destined to be the man with a solitary fan
I hope (in time) to be a maid in Japan
I ‘will’ be the poet that finds a perfect rhyme for ‘orange’
(but, that may just be a flight-of-fancy, I’m not sure that I can)
All in all
I am just a man

In Three Short Minutes…


If I have only three minutes to write in
Could I write a few words that made sense?
Or would pandemonium rule
Would I look like a fool (the fool that I am)
And would the result be better in the past
Tense, I am – how shall I start
And how is it going to end?
Will it be gobbledegook
Will anyone look
Or will I have to show it to a friend?
(And will they still be one after?)
Perhaps, I’ll never know
How those words go
Perhaps they shall not be written
For three short minutes
Is surely not enough
For my words
To you
To be a hit in?

NB the above took just three short minutes with editing included – you can tell! G:)