Twenty-one whole days!
And I am no closer now
Than upon day one.
In fact, I do think
I may be further away:
And about to sink.
Which is not funny.
I have a fear of drowning;
In warm salad cream.
Which is a strange thing
To think of drowning within –
It’s not mayonnaise,
However, that’s wrong;
Not a thing to dwell upon;
And a little weird.
Tomato ketchup
Has five syllables. How strange –
Brown sauce has just two.
Why all the sauces?
I have not a Scooby-Doo
Which means: not a clue.
But, seriously;
I must regain my karma –
That’s not a curry.
But, seriously;
And that means no funny stuff;
If I can do that.
Why am I so bad;
Not ‘bad’ in the Byron way,
But, just bad in acts.
As I’m ‘inactive’
Lacking the ‘get up and go’ –
It’s got up and gone!
But, seriously;
I can be serious, honest!
Just takes some effort.
I shall try harder;
Commit to doing my best
And stop the wise cracks.
My resolutions,
Although it’s not the New Year,
Will help me win her.
Oh, yes, I know that!
That I haven’t tried ‘that’ hard;
But, that was back then;
Now I am stronger;
And determined to succeed
Where I failed before.
I’ll have a haircut;
Get myself a bit smarter;
Lose the Mohican!
A short back and sides;
Very smart: but! No money!
Have to rob a bank;
Or get me a job…………
Wow! A tumbleweed moment!
Me getting a job!
And do it today;
Off to the Job Centre Plus
Whatever ‘Plus’ means.
I can get a job;
I can be… a lumberjack!
Yay! Monty Python!
NB This is the 21st (give or take some) in a sequence of quite a few – the others are around and about here somewhere – the whole story makes little or no sense, but, that’s the way that the crumble cookies! G:)
Graeme Sandford 
You’re all right. Salad cream is a very funny concept…is it the same as salad dressing?
It is not quite the same – it’s like an old-fashioned mayonnaise – Heinz salad cream is traditionally chosen. Had some today with my salad tomatoes at lunch – yummets! Thank you for reading and commenting on my silliness G:)
We do not have that at all. Like Marmite..love the silliness