Monthly Archives: October 2014

Waiting Room Woes 1

Posted on October 31, 2014 by | Leave a comment

Waiting Room

I don’t know about you (I really don’t)

But, I find Waiting Rooms depressing;

People stressing, worried about undressing for the doctor (or is that just me?)

You see, I saw a lady doctor last time I was here when I was expecting…

expecting to see a man doctor!

Well, I didn’t realise until the Display Screen in the Waiting Room ran through the staff, I mean…

Doctor Ellvick (I’ve changed Dr Elliot’s name to save her blushes) was a woman, with a woman’s hands and fingers!

Well, the memory lingers.

I apologised for being a man, for being me, for being!

You see, I am of a nervous disposition at the best of times and at the worst of times.

There are patients to the left of me, patients to the right of me, but too few, by far, in front of me!

They’ll call my name in a minute, and I will walk the walk of shame to the room of unease, please let me be the recipient of a miracle cure right here, right now.

“Graeme Sandford?” she calls.

Wish me luck; G give me strength. I say (inwardly)

Is it too late to DNA?

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Posted in appointment, doctors, surgery, waitingroom

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Lines Upon a Page (LBN)

Posted on October 30, 2014 by | 1 comment

I…

IMG_5141 edit 1

…am taking centre stage

(in an LBN – a little black number

which is slightly ‘off the wall’)

Am I on the right lines

As I preside over my court?

I focus upon the passers-by

who are by-passing the others to gaze

solely at my décolletage;

barely pausing at the collage next to me;

before also by-passing the purchasing of a single thing.

When suddenly, I descried someone wearing…

IMG_5140 edit 1

almost

the exact same creation as me!

Imagine my total loss of elation.

Just imagine!

I could have cried.

Now, side by side we stand;

IMG_5232

Imperceptible in our differences

almost

but, one of discerning tastes

Must have preferences…

Look at her page lines!

I, am the real

deal.

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This poem was inspired by the two delightful pictures above by the Natural Connections artist Sarah Louise Baker.

For more information, visit:http://www.hampshireartandcraft.org/community–fundraising-events.html

Picture

Saturday 8th November 2014, 6.30 – 8.30pm

An evening of poetry by The TeaPoet Collective responding to an exhibition of paintings and sculpture by artists from The Yard Studios at Rum’s Eg Gallery.

The work is on show at Rum’s Eg art and craft gallery in Romsey from 8 October to 9 November. You are invited to look at images of the artwork on the gallery website click here…. or visit the gallery in person and write your own poem. Please send poems to natural@teapoet.org.uk or contact them for more information.

The poetry will be presented at this lively and informal event in the first floor Cafe at Rum’s Eg, with a bar and snacks on the night. The event is free but please email teapoets to let them know if you are coming.

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Posted in art, LBN., poem, Poetry

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Washian Roulette

Posted on October 30, 2014 by | 1 comment

washing the cat

Washian Roulette

Spin, spin, spin;

Will I win?

Red or Black?

Lose or win?

Where and when will the whites within

Choose to land?

Round and round

The machine is sound

It will not play me false 

It dances back and forwards

Like a modern-day Dickensian waltz

The powders and the liquids 

Help to clear my mindings

If it all goes to plan

I shall be pleased with final findings

Spin, spin, spin;

Shall I win?

Or shall the chamber be filled

With a bulletin of promises

That leaves my tears so spilled

Watching and waiting

Waiting and wondering

If all this time I’m waiting for a joining

Or waiting for a sundering.

Spin, spin, spin… 

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Posted in hangerfarmpoets, poem, Poetry, russianroulette, washingmahine

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Hrothgar?

Posted on October 30, 2014 by | Leave a comment

Hrothgar

Sven: Shall we go to Hrothgar

They’re having such a feast?

Svix: No, we’ll both be eaten

by Grendel – at the least!

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Posted in grendel, hrothgar, poem, Poetry

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Flower-Me-Not

Posted on October 30, 2014 by | Leave a comment

flower-me-not

Flower-Me-Not

Roses, I read , read somewhere,

Are like my love;

Violets are there for when you are blue.
“These are but flowers!”
Are my words to you.
Every Dahlia, when I wake up
I wander in the garden of the world
Unaware of the Daisies to come.
My Tulips taste of the air;
My Irises see the colours;
My Nasturtium smells the fragrances.
Whilst I may not know the make or model of the things that grow;
I can still savour the flowers that ‘you’  know;
And where there’s contempt from a gardener with needs ;
‘I’ can embrace the wild beauty of weeds.

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Posted in garden, gardener, nature, poem, Poetry, weed

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My Vogon Poem

Posted on October 29, 2014 by | 2 comments

vogon-poetry

Vogon Poem Generator

Here is my Vogon Poem from the BBC’s Vogon- Poetry Generator Program at

See, see the Dead sky

Marvel at its big Pink depths.

Tell me, ‘I forget his name’ do you

Wonder why the ugly cat ignores you?

Why its foobly stare

makes you feel bed-ready.

I can tell you, it is

Worried by your afgriggflomZ facial growth 

That looks like 

A new life form.

What’s more, it knows

Your Napples potting shed 

Smells of a small, green thing.

Everything under the big Dead sky

Asks why, why do you even bother?

You only charm my overalls.

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Posted in douglasadams, h2g2, poem, Poetry, vogon, vogon[poetry

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Poets Die in Hot Cars

Posted on October 27, 2014 by | Leave a comment 
Poets die in hot cars
Poets die in hot cars;
While doggerels lay exhausted in the heat of the midday sun
Lacking fluid and needing the shadow
Of Autum-te-dum leaves.
The sweat of a writer's brow trickles between lashes 
And splashes of colour lighten up an otherwise dull shade of grey.
Old tomes lie, unread, unnoticed and largely unwanted 
when minute devices carry their weight lightly
Politely giving up their words at the press of a button
Although some would think of Shakespeare as Lamb dressed up like Milton.
Or Brie compared to Stilton.

Poems die in a bright non-blaze of apathy 
Lounging in cupboards and drawers; spouting off about charges and wars
When all the people want is a quick laugh
Then another
Without too much bother
"Brother, can you spare the time to read a book?"
"A what?"
And so it goes
Where it will end
Nobody knows.
The written word is fading and blurred
And will be long forgotten
When all things have occurred
That are happening now.
 
Learning to read?
What is the need?

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Posted in Funny, humour, poem, poet, Poetry

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