Libellous Limericks for 28th September, 2014

what_lies_below
The WOTD
The ‘Word of the Day’ it is… ‘Celidh’*
In Scotland they have one almost daily
But elsewhere it’s rare
To dance, with nae a care,
The whirl and the jig rather gaily!-

*If you then sang out “Is it too late to say I’m sorry?” you get bonus points from me.
-/-
In the depths of the ocean there lies
A creature with a dozen small eyes
It is an iiiiiiiiiiicklius!
-/-
The crew of a boat on the sea
Only had one fish for their tea
The captain had taught
To throw back what you’d caught
And, not to keep that many, you see!
-/-
Gravity was a wonderful discovery
Without it we’d never drop a herring in a shrubbery
For fear it might fly
Right up to the sky
Though the flying fish is said to be lovely.

flying-fish
-/-
At the edge of the world is a sign
And a narrow white unbroken line
The sign it says ‘Stop!’
You must – or you’ll drop
But, if you turn back, I’m sure you’ll be fine.
-:-
A professor from Limerick University
Was studying biodiversity
His students were divided
And opinions collided
Which made it seem a hundred times worsity!
-/-

The AWOTD
The ‘Alternative Word of the Day’ it is… ‘Applause’
A show of hands that signify ‘fors’
But, if silence reigns,
Cools the blood in your veins,
Perhaps they ‘are’ fans, but, not yours!
-/-
When night falls bleak upon the land
And on your shoulder there is a hand
You must not cry
Best not to die
Just uppercut them and hope they understand.
-/-
Topsy-Turvy Limerick
In a fairy tale fine
On some such a line
At midnight a sonnet turned into a Limerick
The watchers were amazed – some felt quite sick –
And a few even thought it divine.
-:-
A mouse collecting rice for her young
Heard a sad song so softly sung
“A time to learn
Turn, turn, and turn”
And far away a church-bell was rung.
-/-
The music of the world is loud
The people of the world are proud
The music loud
The people proud
In Limericks this sort of thing is just not allowed!
-/-
Boys are bad and girls are good
This is not the truth! Is that understood?
Some girls are terrors;
And some lads make ‘no’ errors
But, they would do if they could!
-/-
A Limerick went to college to learn
Went once, then didn’t return;
A letter was sent
To ask his intent
The Limerick replied: “Why the concern?”
-/-
The end of the day is so near
That the night it just waits to appear
For those darkened hours
Have magical powers;
So at dusk the meek disappear.
-:-
A  Limerick in
A Haiku just doesn’t seem
To be right at all.
-/-
A Bonus Haiku-type Limerick
Doric Poetry,
From Aberdeen’s stone city –
Granite Verse for thee!
Gratis, complimentary;
There is no payee.
-/-

One response to “Libellous Limericks for 28th September, 2014

  1. Good god. This is the funniest stuff I’ve read in ages!!! Drop a herring in a shrubbery… Genius!! Thank you for the laughs!!! : D

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