Listless Limericks for 27th September, 2014

Listless Limericks - 27th September 2014

The Way of the Limerick

The first line is always the worst;
Then the second line, which quickly follows the first;
Then is the third
The forth is then heard
And to come last the fifth line is eternally cursed!

-/-

The WOTD

The ‘Word of the Day’ it is… ‘Euphoric!!!

Which in Aberdeen is spoken in Doric

So, in the Aberdonian ‘Play of the Day’ which is…

Hamlet;  Hamlet doth say:

(To Horatio): ‘Alas, puir Yorick!”*

* (From Willam Shakespeare’s Danish Play -Aberdeen Ed.  ‘Alas, puir Yorick, Ah kent heem, Horatio; a fellaw ay infinite jest.’
-:-
A statue from Central Aberdeen
One night was sprayed fluorescent green
The police were confused
The public amused
But, to so paint the Prince Albert ‘was’ mean!
-/-
Whilst piloting Flight 612
The captain discovered a screw
Laying loose on the floor
Then he found three screws more
Then his false leg fell off – over Crewe!
-/-
The end of the world is Nigh!
So come let us all say goodbye!
“Cheerio!”
“Time to go!”
“We’re all of us going to die…!”… eventually!
-/-
The man who is writing these words
Refuses point-blank to shoot birds
Clay pigeons – yes.
He has pacifist aims, I guess
And he’s a poet, so he’s one of the nerds!
-/-
A Scotsman was wearing a quilt
Because of the food he had Spilt
It covered his knees,
his ankles, phalanges;
But, it nowhere near covered his guilt!*

(*at not wearing a kilt!)
-/-

The AWOTD

 The ‘Alternative Word of the Day’ it is… ‘Mistaken’

For I can’t understand what you mean by ‘taekin?

Am I ‘taekin’ two yews?

I’m not, please excuse –

I’m from the South, where old Daleks are all but forsaken!*

* It may help you to understand the above to know that it was written in Aberdeen where I had the great delight of having a conversation with a local chappie last night who clearly thought that he made perfect sense – I only heard that he was suffering from Hay-Fever (and not from visiting the Theatre) and that explained his situation. I think a fine 12-year-old Hay-Fever was more likely! I’m from the very south of England.

 -/-

Whilst writing a few of the above

The writer thought about his true love

At home with the pets

He hopes that she gets

A laugh from some of the above!

(to Jane x)

-/-

Note to the discernible reader: I do make all of these up for you, just you. I hope they bring a smile to your face, as they have to mine –  G:)

One response to “Listless Limericks for 27th September, 2014

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