Assorted Limericks for 11th September, 2014


Assorted Limericks

There was a young girl who loved RICE MILKS

And you know she liked A RAG MAN’S tattoo

She thought the word ‘Play’ was fun

And loved the bite of a pun;

She’d be happy with half an Haiku.



Half an h

aiku, will o

ften do.


There once was a man who loved coffee

Flavoured with vanilla, caramel, hazelnut… and toffee

He liked it so sweet

That its calories beat

Those of a pie called banoffee.


The word of the day it is ‘Prurient!’

A feeling that is rather luxuriant

The look in your eyes,

Your silky inner thighs,

And the mutual way we’re exploriant!


There was a young fisherman called Kevin

To whom the sea was his ultimate heaven

He’d sail in his boat

Always happy afloat

And his hours were twenty-four seven.


Awash with the joy of a boat and a net

The spray of the ocean, the loss of a debt

He’d haul in a catch

No quotas to match

Whilst singing sea shanties you’d never forget.


Bursledon Brimerick

There once was a Bursledon Brick

Whose facets were unusually slick

Not rugged and rough –

The others were tough –

But he had his own Limerick.


There once was a podiatrist named Hector

Who treated a Police Chief Inspector,

The policeman’s flat feet

Were from his years on the beat

So Hector the podiatrist fitted the Police Chief Inspector with a low-arch corrector and that seemed to do the trick.


There once was a gasman named Colin

Who kept digging then filling a hole in

When asked why he did

When he did what he did

He said I’m trying to prove that the earth taken from a hole will fit back in that hole and that the quantity of removed earth from the hole is not swollen.


#Limerick #Limericks #SeptemberLimericks #hods

One response to “Assorted Limericks for 11th September, 2014

  1. Reblogged this on hangerfarmpoets and commented:

    You may have missed this as I posted it late yesterday – please don’t miss it – it may be of some use. G;)

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