Haiku: ‘Twenty-Three: Last Few Remaining!’ By Graeme Sandford

Wanted (Haiku) Ads


Wanted: Big tallboy;

Must have GSOH

And own step-ladder.


For Sale: Three blind mice;

You have to see them running –

Farmer forces sale.


For Sale: Coffee pot;

Teas maid; and all the gubbbings;

Owner needing sleep.


Wanted: Lease of life;

Must be new or nearly new;

Willing to collect.


For Sale: Modern grill;

Unused, goes like a virgin;

As featured in Vogue.


Wanted: Trip to Mars;

Or at a push to Venus;

Have my own spacesuit.


Must Sell: French Letter;

Signed by General de Gaul;

Probably unused.


Urgent Sale: Ice-Cubes;

Or, alternatively, Water –

In a large bucket.


Needed: Oxygen;

Nitrogen; other gases;

Have two lungs to fill.


Available Soon: Ink;

Just when I can catch my squid;

He’s promised me some.


To Let: Barn-like place;

Which is actually a barn;

But, looks just like one.


Free To Good Home: Rats!

Our home used to be quite good;

Until the rats came.


Free: absolutely

Without restraint or binding:

Decree Absolute.


Wanted: Criminal;

Last seen running away fast

In stripy jumper.


For Sale: Alien;

Comes from a far off planet;

Now needs rehoming.


By Auction: A Lot:

In fact, quite a huge amount;

More than just a few.


For sale: man and van;

Wild hog and frog; cat and rat;

Sad times; selling rhymes.


Wanted: Unused notes;

Current currency, please;

Well, if you don’t ask.


Found: Smallish Black Cat;

Answers to the name Snowy;

May have a screw loose.


Lost: Smallish Black Cat;

He does answer to Snowy;

Does have a screw loose.


Man Seeking a suit:

Size, style, colour, fabric,



Woman Seeks a match;

(Mustn’t be an old used flame)

To light up her life.


Must Sell: Battery!

Wanted: Lead or a Diva!

To Lease: This Summer.


One response to “Haiku: ‘Twenty-Three: Last Few Remaining!’ By Graeme Sandford

  1. Reblogged this on Graeme Sandford and commented:

    Having added dividing punctuation, the Free Ads are now much easier to read – enjoy! G:)

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