Haiku: ‘Twenty-Three: Last Few Remaining!’ By Graeme Sandford

Wanted (Haiku) Ads

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Wanted: Big tallboy;

Must have GSOH

And own step-ladder.

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For Sale: Three blind mice;

You have to see them running –

Farmer forces sale.

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For Sale: Coffee pot;

Teas maid; and all the gubbbings;

Owner needing sleep.

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Wanted: Lease of life;

Must be new or nearly new;

Willing to collect.

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For Sale: Modern grill;

Unused, goes like a virgin;

As featured in Vogue.

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Wanted: Trip to Mars;

Or at a push to Venus;

Have my own spacesuit.

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Must Sell: French Letter;

Signed by General de Gaul;

Probably unused.

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Urgent Sale: Ice-Cubes;

Or, alternatively, Water –

In a large bucket.

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Needed: Oxygen;

Nitrogen; other gases;

Have two lungs to fill.

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Available Soon: Ink;

Just when I can catch my squid;

He’s promised me some.

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To Let: Barn-like place;

Which is actually a barn;

But, looks just like one.

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Free To Good Home: Rats!

Our home used to be quite good;

Until the rats came.

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Free: absolutely

Without restraint or binding:

Decree Absolute.

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Wanted: Criminal;

Last seen running away fast

In stripy jumper.

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For Sale: Alien;

Comes from a far off planet;

Now needs rehoming.

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By Auction: A Lot:

In fact, quite a huge amount;

More than just a few.

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For sale: man and van;

Wild hog and frog; cat and rat;

Sad times; selling rhymes.

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Wanted: Unused notes;

Current currency, please;

Well, if you don’t ask.

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Found: Smallish Black Cat;

Answers to the name Snowy;

May have a screw loose.

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Lost: Smallish Black Cat;

He does answer to Snowy;

Does have a screw loose.

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Man Seeking a suit:

Size, style, colour, fabric,

Immaterial!

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Woman Seeks a match;

(Mustn’t be an old used flame)

To light up her life.

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Must Sell: Battery!

Wanted: Lead or a Diva!

To Lease: This Summer.

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One response to “Haiku: ‘Twenty-Three: Last Few Remaining!’ By Graeme Sandford

  1. Reblogged this on Graeme Sandford and commented:

    Having added dividing punctuation, the Free Ads are now much easier to read – enjoy! G:)

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