April 16th – Aussie Soap Blather #1

Bruce looked spruce
With his ‘up-to-the-minute’ style of a ‘hermit cut loose’
And his seven-year-old mongoose, Luc
y in tow.

Sheila polished her plush one-owner, two-tone, three-wheeler
Purchased from a dude – a dodgy-dealer –
Then she slipped on a chilled banana-skin tequila
And put out a feminine feeler
For a fit and fun feller!

Bruce and Sheila were miles apart
But love (it is said) has a heart and (if it also has a mind)
It will find a way
To save the day.

Bruce and Luce (his faithful mongoose, remember?)
Left home and out they went
The wooing wilderness for Bruce to roam,

Sheila sat on her tri-tyred machine
(That from recent cloth-rubbing was shiny and clean)
And revved up the engine and selected her gear
A Mary Quant number from old yesteryear!

Bruce, Luce (I’ll keep giving their names, so as not to confuce.. Sorry, confuse) headed out to the big city
In hope that this time! it would take pity
On poor Bruce the hermit-like recluse.

Sheila sat astride her tri-stallion of the road
Heading for somewhere, as she did please, whilst her shining hair
Flowed out behind her in the bountiful breeze
Yes, her hair, it shone, and her eyes they sparkled with infinite fire
And her urge for a ‘man’ grew red hot with desire
The trike flew – one moment here the next moment… gone!
A vision that had passed – before you even knew…
…she was there… to look upon!

Bruce hit the limits of the city with hope
He’d like to make a lass “ooh!” with his lassoing rope! (That’s a euphemism – just letting you know –
I don’t work hard on my words for all tell and no show!)

Sheila arrived in the city with a glimmer of hope and a squealing of brakes
Dismounted her steed; gave her healthy hair a few flippant shakes;

Bruce left Luce at the mall for to graze –
She’d be happy window-shopping ‘there’ for a couple of days –
And headed off to the bright lights to see if the ‘one’
Was there for to meet him –
Or would he just be shun-

They walked into the bar from two different entries
Then stood there looking hither and thither like two wary sentries
They, then, saw each other, and at first sight were struck
By the realisation of their fortune and their fortunate luck
Because here in this poem (half full not half empty was their bounteous cup – as never happens in true life)
They teamed up
And Sheila and Bruce
Entered into a relationship
As partners to each other and step-parents to a mongoose named Luce

They lived happily ever after…

Have you ever heard anything dafter?

PS That was based upon a true story that I made up – honest!


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