Dramatis Personae
Carrot
Turnip
Mr. Whippy
Horse
Smallboy
Act 1
Scene Bus Stop in the wilderness.
SD: Carrot and Turnip are waiting at the bus stop.
Carrot: Is that you?
Turnip: I’m not sure. I could be, but maybe I’m not.
Carrot: (nods head) Good!
Turnip: Good? What is there that is good about anything?
Carrot: I can’t.
Turnip: Can’t what?
Carrot: Go anywhere at this moment in time.
Turnip: And why would you want to stay?
Carrot: ‘Cos I’m… waiting.
Turnip: Waiting? What are you waiting for?
Carrot: I’m waiting for godknowswhat!
Turnip: Oh, that’s alright then.
End of Act 1
Lights dim, then just before blackout they brighten again.
Act 2 (starts as Act 1 ends)
Scene: Bus Stop in the wilderness.
SD: Carrot and Turnip are waiting at the bus stop. Turnip is studying the bus time-table.
Turnip: It says on this sign that godknowswhat will be along this very evening, or tomorrow evening, or maybe even yesterday evening!
Carrot: And there’s me thinking that you can’t read.
Turnip: I can’t, and that’s a fact!
Carrot: It’s a sign of the times!
SD: Turnip takes a very close look at the bus time-tables.
Turnip: It never used to be here
Carrot: ‘We’ never used to be here.
SD: C & T look around, then look at each other, then hastily look away and around once more, turning away from each other in a circle returning back to their start position, then both look intently to Stage right.
SFX: Sound of ice-cream van and horses hooves / coconuts that dopplers towards them from Stage Right and then away to Stage Left from C & T – they follow it with their eyes and body actions.
Turnip: (looking at C, then back to Stage Left) He’s not going to sell many going at that speed!
Carrot: (still looking Stage Left) Watch out!
SD: C & T cower away from Stage Left.
SD: Small Boy walks on from Stage Left holding and licking an ice-cream. Small boy crosses stage and exits Stage Right.
SD: C & T watch the Small Boy’s progress across the stage, and end staring after him to Stage Right.
SD: Lights Fade to nothing.
SD: Lights come up and C & T are waiting at the bus stop. Turnip is studying the bus time-table.
SD: Small Boy walks back on from Stage Left carrying sign upon which is written the words “The End!” Small Boy stands Centre Stage flourishing the sign to the audience.
SD: Applause (hopefully)
SD: Lights Fade to nothing.
SD: Lights come up and Carrot, Turnip and Small Boy are Centre Stage. They bow to audience, and each other.
SD: Applause (hopefully) – and the possible throwing of carrots and turnips, but not small boys, on to stage.
SD: Curtains / Lights Fade to Blackout.
SD: Lights come up and C, T & Small Boy are Centre Stage. They bow to audience and each other.
SD: Applause (hopefully)
End
