“Where have you been?
“Where have you been?
Will’s Latest Sonnet (in the style of Bob Newhart)
Will’s Agent is going over some parchments with disdain; picking, glancing and discarding them in succession.
SFX Phone Rings
WA picks up the phone
SFX The phone stops ringing
Will’s Agent holds up the conversation one-sidedly.
WA: Oh, hi, Will, baby! Yeah, I was just giving your latest, ah… poem the once over – it’s a doozie!
Sonnet. Yes, that’s what you do isn’t it? Sonnets… (Seeks and finds parchment of Sonnet XVIII ) …
sonnets, sonnets, sonnets, one after the other, all in a row; and this one you’ve called… Sonnet X.V.I.I.I. Snappy title, Will. After the other seventeen I’m not that surprised. And I absolutely ‘love’ the rhyme scheme and the rhythm ‘ tum-te-dum-te-dum-te-dum’ (as in The Archers) ‘tum-te-dum-de-dum-dum…’ again.
Yeah, yeah,I know Will, this one is the best one yet… but that’s what you said about Sonnet X.V.I.I!
(WA reads snatches of poem with yada yada yada at end – as below, for example)
WA: …Summer’s day… Rough winds… Eternal this, eternal that, another Summer, yada, yada, yada…”
A ‘Finger Buffet!’
With real fingers!
My plates of meat
Got me out of there
Quicker than you could say
‘Peter Piper sold seashells whilst picking a peck of pickled pepper on the sea shore!’
It is the morning of another day…
Well, it is where I am;
Where you are it may be the afternoon,
Or the night.
GMT or BST for me
You can be in front
Or alongside of me
But, I suppose if you are in the same Latitude (or is it Longitude)
As me, you could be in a different time zone (that is, if you are not using BST).
It’s like Stalactites and Stalagmites, I get the two confused… Don’t you?
And when Port used to be Larboard
I would surely have got Larboard mixed up with Starboard – though here’s a clue ‘Port’ has four letters as does ‘Left’ so that helps… unless you get left and right mixed up).
Also, Stalagtites hang down like tights, with the Stalagmites growing up ‘might they achieve the heights?’.
I do hope that this stream of thought upon a Sunday morning, Sunday afternoon, Sunday evening, Saturday night, other, may have been / be of use.
Take care and travel time safely.
PS For ‘Latitude’ think ‘Laterally’
Some things need to be reblogged. This doesn’t, but I shal reblog it anyway as it’s a silly Saturday. G:)
TheWoodpecker vs. the Yellowhammer.
SFX knocking sounds as of a bird in the forest.
Ackbi: Here, Tarlin, does that sound like a Eurasian Three-Toed Woodpecker to you?
Tarlin: It does ‘sound’ like a Eurasian Three-Toed; but, it’s not.
Ackbi: Are you absolutely sure?
Ackbi: Could it be a Lesser-Spotted Woodpecker?
Tarlin: Lesser-Spotted! Never.
Ackbi: Well, how about the Hispaniolan Woospecker?
Tarlin: Definitely not!
Ackbi: Do you know what it is?
Tarlin: It is a Yellowhammer.
Ackbi: What!! Are you loopy? The Yellowhammer doesn’t make that sound; it has a very mellifluous trill and it’s call is ‘nothing’ at all like that.
Tarlin: I assure you that I am correct. Look over there.
Ackbi: At that man up that ladder?
Tarlin: Yes; that’s Paul; and he has a…
Tarlin: …yellow hammer.
Ackbi: (Groans) Badum-Tish!
I’m not sure, but, it could be my love of Victorian litrature – Wilkie Collins, Thomas Hardy, Charles Dickens, William Thackeray, George Eliot, the Brontës, et al.
Or it may be nothing at all to do with that.
But, some people that I know call me a bit of a Dickensian.
It happens a lot here in Oxenford (old spelling) and today is another ‘PSF’ -G:)
It seems that pink shirts
Are the order of the day;
And just because you
Are wearing a pink shirt
Doesn’t make you gay;
But, wearing a pink shirt
With mustard coloured trousers
In fact I would have ‘lots’ of pink shirts
But, it’s not for me to ‘buy’ pink shirts
I’d just pop some new red socks
Into my whites wash